The Value of Journey Groups

WHY THIS IS SO VERY IMPORTANT

"There is a quality of listening that is possible among a circle of human beings, who by their attentiveness to one another create a space in which each person is able to give voice to the truth of his or her life. There is the miracle of authentic narrative, made possible by listening that holds still long enough to let the truth be told. Where there is this kind of listening and speaking, a new kind of community is born -- a community of life."

- Rebecca Parker, Unitarian Universalist Theologian

"I pin my hopes to quiet processes and small circles, in which vital and transforming events take place."

- Rufus Jones, Quaker historian and theologian

Helping Each Other Become the People We Most Want to Be

Unitarian Universalism is about connection. We are a religion that sees people struggling, not against our own sinful souls, but against a shallow, frantic, and materialistic world that all-too-often leaves us disconnected from our deepest selves, life's gifts and needs greater than one's own. Therefore, it is our mission at CUC to "nurture each other in our spiritual journeys" and to "foster compassion and understanding." Journey Groups are the most direct and effective way to do this nurturing and fostering.

Through our mission, CUC works to heal that divide. We nurture each other in our spiritual journeys in order to find and create connection in an often very disconnecting world. We foster compassion and understanding in order to become people of depth and presence in a world often shallow and distracted.

Journey Groups offer

• Formative space and circles of learning, support, and challenge
• Opportunities for spiritual deepening and practice
• An intimate home within a larger church community

so that participants become the people they want to be.

Journey Groups are about becoming.

Formative Space

The core purpose of Journey Groups is to create formative space for individuals. This is a space of acceptance and safety in which group members can explore their deepest values and inner voice without judgment or coercion.

"So what do we do in a circle of trust? We speak our own truth; we listen receptively to the truth of others; we ask each other honest, open questions instead of giving counsel; and we offer each other the healing and empowering gifts of silence and laughter....Our purpose is not to teach anyone anything but to give the inner teacher a chance to teach us...."Formation" may be the best name for what happens in a circle of trust, because the word refers, historically, to soul-work done in a communal setting....In a circle of trust, formation flows from the belief that we are born with souls in perfect form. As time goes on, we are subject to powers of deformation, from within as well as without, that twist us into shapes quite different from the shape of the soul. But the soul never loses its original form, and never stops calling us back to our birthright integrity. In a circle of trust, the powers of deformation are held at bay long enough for the soul to emerge and speak its truth....In a circle of trust we can grow our selfhood like a plant -- from the potential within the seed of the soul, in ground made fertile by the quality of our relationships, toward the light of our own wholeness."

- Parker Palmer

A Theology of Connection

Journey Groups are the way we practice what Unitarian Universalist theology teaches. Our UU theology is complex, yet it can be boiled down to a single focus on healing spiritual disconnection. Our congregations gather to heal disconnection by nurturing each other in our spiritual journeys, fostering compassion and understanding within and beyond our congregations, and engaging in service to transform ourselves and our world. Journey Groups are the container in which we explore the meaning of this theology in our lives and support our journey toward deeper connection with ourselves, with others, and with the mystery of life.

1. Journey Groups Are Rooted in a Theology Focused on Spiritual Connection

Many us grew up in a Christian context galvanized around the idea of sin. The sin perspective sees a world of people struggling with the fact of a deep, fundamental flaw in their nature. Religious communities, on this perspective, function to offer forgiveness or purity.

We Unitarian Universalists see the world from a different perspective. We see a world of people struggling with spiritual disconnection. We see ourselves and many around us hungering to re-connect with self, others, and the wholeness of creation. Unitarian Universalism and UU congregations exist to help people with this struggle. This is what we are about: to heal spiritual disconnection by nurturing the spiritual journey, fostering compassion and understanding, and engaging in transformative service.

We are all struggling to find our ways home -- to what we care most deeply about and who we most want to be. So Journey Groups are not just "an evening of good discussion" or "an opportunity for intellectual stimulation" or even "a chance to meet new friends." Journey Groups are designed to be a path home.

2. Journey Groups Provide an Opportunity to Explore the Worship Themes in More Depth -- and Connect with the Congregation as a Whole

Journey Groups are not a "stand alone" program. Journey Groups are inextricably connected to the worship life of CUC by providing participants with a way to explore the worship theme of the month. Besides helping us go deeper, this also connects us to the wider congregational community. Bob or Sue might not be in your Journey Group, but since they are also dealing with the same theme, you have a point of connection that allows us feel part of the same journey -- and strike up a conversation a bit more easily.

Journey Groups are not sermon discussion groups. The goal of a Journey Group is not explore the sermons in more depth, but to explore the monthly theme in more depth. Having the sermons in the background enriches the experience, but sermons are not the focus. The focus is on the monthly questions and spiritual exercise, which provide a different kind of experience than worship offers.

3. Journey Groups Invite Us to Experience the Worship Theme, Not Just Talk About It

Unitarian Universalists want to do more than just read and talk about spiritual topics. Provocative readings are important. Thinking about and discussing a topic is important. But there is nothing like experiential learning.

Each Monthly Packet includes a spiritual exercise to engage prior to the meeting. If, for instance, the theme is "grace," we don't just read what theologians have to say about it -- we challenge ourselves to find a way to bring grace (a gift not expected, earned, or deserved) into another person's life. If the theme is "prayer," we don't just read theories and perspectives on prayer -- we challenge ourselves to find a new way to pray (or even try prayer for the first time). The spiritual exercises differ widely from month to month. Sometimes they are profound and involved. Other times, simple and playful. Sometimes members may report having "the most moving experience of my life." Other times, they come in and say, "I'm not sure that worked for me, but it did make me realize..." No matter what, we ask members to try they exercise. Whether you "enjoy" it or not, the experience has something to teach you about life and yourself.

Of course, spiritual exercises differ from spiritual practice. The monthly exercise cannot take the place of on-going, daily practices that center us. Rather, the monthly exercise supplements our practices and facilitates the path toward depth and meaning.

4. Journey Groups Offer Questions to Walk With, Not Walk Through

Traditional small groups use discussion questions to keep the discussion focused and structured. Journey Groups use the questions differently. We see the questions as tools for individual exploration. Instead of asking our groups to go through the questions one by one and discuss them, we give you the questions ahead of time and ask you to find the one or two questions that "hook" you -- that speak to you in some dramatic or challenging way. We ask you to "live with" or "walk with" that question for the few weeks leading up to the Journey Group meeting. Find the question that hooks you and let it take you on a ride. Members then arrive at the meeting, not with an answer to each of the questions on the list, but with a story about the one or two questions that spoke to them and led to deeper, personal learning.

5. Journey Groups Slowly Teach the Substance of Unitarian Universalism.

Each monthly theme brings attention to a spiritual value. The Monthly Packet and Journey Group meeting challenges you to ask, "What does it mean to live a life with this particular value front and center?" The values engaged in this way are ones that Unitarian Universalism has historically honored and emphasized. By growing into them, we grow into the distinctive substance of our faith tradition.

6. Journey Groups are the Essential Component of Theme-Based Ministry.

Theme-based ministry develops religious competence and the resources for coping calmly with life's uncertainty, crises, and loss. See the "Theme-Based Ministry" page: CLICK HERE.

Community

In Journey Groups we engage each other in a covenantal relationship. So we commit to honoring a particular format and clear relational commitments during meetings. These promises to each other provide meaning and connection. Over time, great depth of friendship emerges that may be called spiritual friendship.

Adult RE and Affirmation Program (Perry's Ponderings)

Tom Ryan, a CUC Religious Education Council member and RE teacher, recently considered his own understanding of Unitarian Universalism and connection to it. Tom wondered if he would feel more connected to our faith and this congregation if he went through some of the Religious Education programming that the children and youth do. The children and youth learn about UU values and identity, experience the similarities and differences we have with other religions, connect our faith to the actions we take in the world, and explore their personal beliefs. They mark points in their UU path with Child Dedications, Affirmation Ceremonies, Coming of Age Services, and Bridging Ceremonies. Tom realized that he was interested in that kind of journey for himself and that other adults would also gain from it.

Many congregants are involved at CUC, but feel incomplete in their own personal spiritual growth and developing a Unitarian Universalist identity. Some of this happens in our worship services, Journey Groups, and other meaningful gatherings. Yet, my conversation with Tom made us realize that there might be great value in an adult Affirmation Program. As we consider the further development of Adult Religious Education, we are excited about the possibility of an intentional path of exploration for every participant at CUC. This could include learning opportunities about world religions, UU history, UU Principles and Sources in everyday life, various spiritual practices, and personal faith development shared in community.

Further developing our Adult Religious Education program expands our possibilities for growth as people of liberal faith and our connections to each other in the process. When we share our stories and our responses to them, we enable each other to go into a deeper place of reflection, while supporting each other on the journey. We aim to create opportunities for learning, sharing, experiencing, and growing. This might be in a class on a specific religion, life topic, spiritual practice, artistic expression, or social justice issue.

We would like to have your input and participation. Let us know what topics interest you most, what you would like to see offered at CUC, and what you might bring into our room of exploration. Tom Ryan, Janice Silverberg, and Pinar Tanrikorur are new members of the Adult RE Support Team. You can speak with one of them or me about your ideas. Consider joining our team in forming what this picture of learning, sharing, and creating might look like. We will affirm our connection to CUC, Unitarian Universalism, and each other in new eye-opening ways.

R.E.: Sun Oct 5

Children and youth begin in the sanctuary.

Music For All Ages will start promptly at 10 a.m. Children may come right up to the piano when they enter the sanctuary. Adam Kent and cellist Adrian Daurov present "Bows n' Strings: The Sound of the Cello" about the cello, its means of producing sound, its unique characteristics, and some of its repertoire.

Then the Wonder Box Story on the first Sunday in October touches upon fall and the theme of the month, "death," in the sense of the cycle of life in nature. You might recognize this story that Perry and Meredith perform as a mini-skit. Children and youth will process to their classes after the story.

For a description of this year's RE classes by grade, CLICK HERE.

This Sunday, the Youth Group is headed out for apple picking at Harvest Moon Orchards in North Salem (exit 8 off I-684 north). The group will be leaving CUC promptly at 10 a.m. and returning by 1 p.m. Youth attending should bring $10-$15 to cover the cost of apples and anything they might want to purchase from the farm shop. Please RSVP to Perry at dlre@cucwp.org and let him know if a parent can drive as a chaperone. Youth must bring a signed permission form on Sunday - for a pdf copy CLICK HERE.

The RE Council meets at 8 a.m. on the first Sunday of the month. If you have any questions for the RE Council or thoughts you would like to share, please contact Chair Pam Cucinell at pamelajcny@gmail.com or DLRE Perry Montrose at dlre@cucwp.org.

Next Sunday, October 12...

Extraordinary Sunday for All Ages at 10 a.m.
Explore Unitarian Universalism
High School Youth Group members will lead the children in an exploration of UU history and identity through fun activities, including a UU scavenger hunt around the church.

Music: Sun Oct 5

This Sunday morning’s musical programming kicks off with a special edition of Music for All Ages, with guest cellist Adrian Daurov. Adrian has performed at worship services and on our concert series in the past, and he returns on Sun Oct 5 to perform music associated with Yom Kippur. In addition to Max Bruch’s celebrated setting of the holiday prayer Kol Nidre, Adrian and Adam Kent will also team up in works from Ernst Bloch’s Jewish Life cycle for cello and piano. At 10am, Adrian and Adam will offer a special presentation on the cello, its unique sound, and common playing techniques.

CUC’s Choir will also be on hand to perform Mi Yitneni Of, a traditional Jewish melody, and the popular Spiritual Keep Your Lamps.

Prelude: Ernst Bloch: "Prayer" and "Supplication"

Music for All Ages: The Sound of the Cello

Special Music: Kol Nidre, Op. 47 Max Bruch

Choral Anthem: Mi Yitneni Of* (Who Will Give Me Wings) Traditional Jewish Melody, Words by D. Shimoni, arr. by Audrey Snyder (Translation: "Who will give me wings, even wings of the smallest bird? Endlessly will I wander to find peace for my wounded soul.")

Offertory Choral Anthem: Keep Your Lamps Traditional Spiritual, arr. by Victor C. Johnson

CUC Choir directed by Lisa N. Meyer and accompanied by Georgianna Pappas

Don't Be Alarmed

Practice of the Week
Don't Be Alarmed

Category: Slogans to Live By: Practices for everyone to keep in mind and pay attention to. These practices don't require setting aside a separate substantial chunk of time. Just have the intention to grow stronger in each of these areas as you go about your day, and sometimes make one of them the focus of your daily journaling. The titles of these practices are guiding slogans to live by.

"Whoa. Chill out, dude." (Conronus the Chuggernaut)

Adapted from Rick Hanson, Just One Thing

The nervous system has been evolving for about 600 million years. During all this time, creatures — worms, crabs, lizards, rats, monkeys, hominids, humans — that were real mellow, watching the sunlight on the leaves, getting all Zen, absorbed in inner peace ... CHOMP got eaten because they didn't notice the shadow overhead or crackle of twigs nearby.

The ones that survived to pass on their genes were fearful and vigilant — and we are their great-great-grand¬children, bred to be afraid. Even though we've come a long way from the Serengeti, we're still quick to feel unsettled in any situation that seems the least bit threatening: not enough time to get through your e-mails, more news of a struggling economy, no call after two days from someone you've started dating, and so on.

Even if the situations you're in are reasonably good, there are other, innate sources of alarm rooted in our biology. Basically, to survive, animals — including us — must continually try to:

• Separate themselves from the world
• Stabilize many dynamic systems in the body, mind, relationships, and environment
• Get rewards and avoid harms

But here's the problem: each of these strategies flies in the face of the facts of existence:

• Everything is connected to everything else — so it's impossible to fundamentally separate self and world.
• Everything changes — so it's impossible to keep things stable in the body, mind, relationships, or environment.
• Rewards are fleeting, costly, or unobtainable, and some harms are inevitable — so it's impossible to hold onto pleasure forever and totally escape pain.

Alarms sound whenever one of these strategies runs into trouble — which is many times a day because of the contradictions between the nature of existence and what we must do to survive. Alarms below awareness create a background of unease, irritability, caution, and pessimism; the ones you're consciously aware of are emotionally and often physically uncomfortable — such as anxiety, anger, or pain.

Don't underestimate the amount of background alarm in your body and mind. It's hard-wired and relentless, inherent in the collision between the needs of life and the realities of existence.

While this alarmism has been a great strategy for keeping creatures alive to pass on their genes, it's not good for your health, well-being, relationships, or ambitions. Threat signals are usually way out of proportion to what is actually happening. They make you pull in your wings and play safe and small, and cling tighter to "us" and fear "them." At the level of groups and nations, our vulnerability to alarm makes us easy to manipulate with fear. Yes, deal with real threats, real harms — but enough with all these false alarms!

How

Take a stand for yourself: "I'm tired of being needlessly afraid." Consider the price you've paid over the years due to false alarms: the running for cover, the muzzling of self-expression, the abandonment of important longings or aspirations.

Try to be more aware of the subtle sense of alarm, such as a tightening in your chest or face, a sinking feeling in your stomach, a sense of being off balance, or an increase in scanning or guardedness.

Then recognize that many alarm signals are actually not signals at all: they're just unpleasant noise, meaningless, like a car alarm that won't stop blapping. Obviously, deal with real alarms. But as for the ones that are exaggerated or entirely bogus, don't react to these alarms with alarm.

Accept that bad things sometimes happen, there are uncertainties, planes do occasionally crash, nice people get hit by drunk drivers. We just have to live with the fact that we can't dodge all the bullets. When you come to peace with this, you stop trying to control — out of alarm — the things you can't.

Keep helping your body feel less alarmed. I imagine my "inner iguana" lodged in the most ancient and fearful structures of the brainstem, and gently stroking its belly, soothing and settling it so it relaxes like a lizard on a warm rock. The same with my inner rat, or monkey, or caveman: continually softening and opening the body, breathing fully and letting go, sensing strength and resolve inside.

Alarms may clang, but your awareness and intentions are much larger — like the sky dwarfing clouds. In effect, alarms and fears are held in a space of fearlessness. You see this zig-zaggy, up-and-down world clearly — and you are at peace with it. Try to return to this open-hearted fearlessness again and again throughout your day.

For Journaling

Reflect on the phrase "needlessly afraid." Write about some of the needless fears you've had over the years of your life. What price did you pay for having those fears? Sketch a strategy for yourself for letting go of needless fears.

* * *
Rick Hanson on not being alarmed:

* * *
For list of all weekly practices: "Practices of the Week Index"

CUC RE Class Descriptions

Nursery & Pre-K: The Welcome Year - We invite our infants and toddlers into a safe, loving environment where they will quickly feel comfortable. Our staff provides a warm, accepting atmosphere where trust can be formed. Children old enough to participate in a Pre-K lesson come to the table for a story and project. Topics include nature, feelings, friendship, listening, holidays, helping, dreams, and peace. These gatherings help the children build a connection to each and our community, while exploring their imagination and world.

K-1st grade: The Discovery Year - This curriculum seeks to nurture children’s spiritual and religious growth through carefully sequenced connections to their ever widening environment. It offers many opportunities for discovery and celebration as the children explore themselves and others, their families and their church, the wonders of nature, and religious and cultural days.

2nd-3rd grade: Free to Believe (Affirmation Year) - Free to Believe explores UU principles and sources while nurturing the social, emotional and spiritual lives of children. The curriculum focuses on UU principles, values and beliefs and on life’s “big questions” (about God, death, the creation of life) through hands-on activities, stories, games, songs and discussions.

4th grade: Moral Tales - Every day our children go forth into a complex world where they are often faced with difficult decisions and situations. Moral Tales attempts to provide children with the spiritual and ethical tools they will need to make choices and take actions reflective of their Unitarian Universalist beliefs and values. Each session has a central story in which participants meet real and fictional heroes and heroines who have displayed moral courage and spiritual greatness. All sessions include hands-on activities to make learning accessible to individuals with various learning styles.

5th-6th grade: Our Whole Lives (first half of year) - 8-session program for learning about and discussing the physical and emotional changes of puberty. Participants will read It's Perfectly Normal, by Robie H. Harris, and examine topics such as values and sexuality, communication and decision making. Each session includes a HomeLink - a homework activity for parents and children to complete together.

Bibleodeon (second half of the year) - Bibleodeon is an exciting introduction to Hebrew and Christian stories in a Unitarian Universalist setting. This Unitarian Universalist approach to Bible study is exploratory, not dogmatic. Participants explore connections between biblical events and UU principles and values, between biblical ideas and their own lives. They experience the Bible as one of many wonderful and important UU sources. Just as important, Bibleodeon is fun. Children listen to some stories and act some out. They investigate others, the way television reporters would. They immerse themselves in music and art and creative activity, achieving in the process new understanding of and appreciation for some of civilization’s most important books.

7th-8th grade: Neighboring Faiths - In this program youth experientially explore the many diverse religions around the world. The program introduces youth to faith traditions within the larger community and actively engages them in experiencing the ritual practices of other religious groups through visits to faith communities. These trips create a deeper understanding of world religions through direct experience with communities and leaders engaged in those faiths.

7th grade (4 Friday evening sessions in the second half of the year): Our Whole Lives (OWL) - After missing the program in 6th grade last year, the 7th graders will have the opportunity to gain this important learning experience. This is a program for learning about and discussing the physical and emotional changes of puberty. Participants will read It's Perfectly Normal, by Robie H. Harris, and examine topics such as values and sexuality, communication and decision making. Each session includes a HomeLink - a homework activity for parents and children to complete together.

9th grade: Coming of Age - As youth prepare to leave childhood, congregations seeking to honor this transition will benefit from the wealth of ideas in this guide. Coming of Age class is filled with workshops for youth, small group ministry sessions, social action projects and rites of passage. Participants will explore theology, spirituality and history through discussion, drama, music, writing and art. Youth to define their beliefs and put their faith into action.  Stone Soup fund-raiser happens on Nov 16. Coming of Age ceremonies will be on May 16 & 17.

10th-12th grades: Youth Group - A flexible but structured program for our youth. The group determines the exact content of sessions, engaging in activities here at CUC as well as in the community. Youth group leads a service in the sanctuary for the congregation on March 1 and will also host a Pancake Brunch on March 15.

People's Climate March Pics!

66 photos from the Climate March on Sun Sep 21 in Manhattan:

At the North White Plains train station preparing to depart: Mary C, Carole M, Norm H, and Meredith:

Rev. Beth Johnson (in blue), UU minister serving our congregation in Vista, CA, visited with us for the march. That's Mary C (left) and Carole M (right):

Mary and John:

UU ministerial contingent coming from North White Plains: Revs Beth Johnson, Meredith Garmon, and LoraKim Joyner:

The train gang:

Folks from another Westchester congregation: 4th U in Mohegan Lake:

Take me out to the crowd!

In the "faith contingent section" was a Noah's ark:

Many faiths were represented. Muslims . . .

. . . Buddhists . . .

. . . Jews . . .

Ecumenical organizations, such as ROAR:

Pagans

President of the UUA, Rev. Peter Morales (in yellow stole)

An estimated 1,500 UUs marched. Not all of them were in the yellow "Standing on the Side of Love" shirts -- but many were.

Rev. Meredith

Mario P and Pam C

Two UU ministers, Rev. Allison Palm and Rev. Heather Concannon:

Looking good in yellow!

Former CUC member, Gail B was there, representing her current congregation in Saranac Lake, NY:

UU Minister Rev. Susan Carlson, with her partner, Alan.

Streak of yellow through the crowd -- that would be the UUs!

Rev. Meredith and Jeff T.

Rev. LoraKim and Rev. Meredith in the crowd

Wesley M on the way to the march.

400,000. Holy Cow.

The UU Animal Ministry -- here represented by (from left) Rev Kurt Kuhwald, Pam S, Rev. Beth Johnson, and Rev. LoraKim Joyner.

CUC adults, Al R and Emily E, and some CUC Youth

Paula M -- et al

"Solutions exist" kinda sums it up. The marchers didn't have any specific solution to advocate -- just the urgent sense that climate change is a solvable problem.

Rev Peggy Clarke, who serves our Hastings Congregation, was a huge organizational force in getting Westchester folks to the march

Where's Waldo?