Practice of the Week
Category: Keep In Mind (This practice is for everyone to keep in mind and pay attention to. It doesn't require setting aside a separate substantial chunk of time. Just have the intention to grow stronger in this area as you go about your day. Sometimes make it a focus of your daily journaling.)
Curious people are typically not self-centered. (Rick Hanson's daughter)
Cultivate "Don't Know Mind." When we think we know, we aren't curious. Peace, joy, and connection aren't about what you (think you) know. Rather, they come from shedding the need to know, letting go our attachment to security of knowledge, and always being open to the surprise of the this moment.
Adapted from Rick Hanson, Just One Thing. [Order a copy for yourself: HERE]:
The twisting road was carved from the side of coastal hills plunging to the sea. After a while we paused at a pull-out for a pit stop. Returning from the bushes, I found my dad scrutinizing dried, scraggly grasses sticking out from the mini-cliff next to our car. "Look, Rick," he said excitedly, "see how the layers of dirt are different, so the plants growing in them are different, too!" He sounded like a little kid who'd discovered an elephant in his backyard.
But that's my dad: endlessly curious, never bored. I and ten thousand other drivers had sped around that turn seeing nothing but another meaningless road cut. But he had not taken the commonplace for granted. He wondered about what he saw and looked for connections, explanations. For him, the world wears a question mark.
This attitude of wonder, interest, and investigation brings many rewards. For example, engaging your mind actively as you age helps preserve the functioning of your brain. Use it or lose it!
Plus you' gather lots of useful information — about yourself, other people, the world — by looking around. You also see the larger context, and thus become less affected by any single thing itself: not so driven to get more of what you like, and not so stressed and unsettled by what you don't like.
As our daughter once pointed out, curious people are typically not self-centered. Sure, they are interested in the inner workings of their own psyche — curiosity is a great asset for healing, growth, and awakening — but they're also very engaged with the world and others. Maybe that's why we usually like curious people.
To begin with, curiosity requires a willingness to see whatever is under the rocks you turn over. Usually it's neutral or positive. But occasionally you find something that looks creepy or smells bad. Then you need courage, to face an uncomfortable aspect of yourself, other people, or the world. In this case, it helps to observe it from a distance, and try not to identify with it. Surround it with spaciousness, knowing that whatever you've found is just one part of a larger whole and (usually) a passing phenomenon.
With that willingness, curiosity expresses itself in action, through looking deeper and wider — and then looking again.
Looking deeper means being interested in what's under the surface. For example, what previous situations does it remind you of — particularly ones when you were young and most affected by things?
Looking wider means broadening your view:
- What are other aspects of the situation, such as the good intentions of others, or your own responsibility for events?
- What factors could be at work in your mind? For example, have you worked too much lately, or felt underappreciated, or not eaten or slept well? Did you appraise the situation as a lot worse, or a lot rnore threatening, than it actually was? Did you take it personally?
For your journaling today, here's an exercise for cultivating curiosity. Set a timer for 10 minutes. When the timer starts, start writing. Keep the pen moving without stopping to think until the 10 minutes are up. Here's the twist: Write nothing but questions. Write questions about what happened to you, what you saw, heard, experienced, felt in the last 24 hours. Don't answer any question. Just move immediately on to asking the next question.
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Rick Hanson on being curious:
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For list of all weekly practices: "Practices of the Week Index"