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2021-05-07
Religious Education: May 7, 2021
Minister's Post, Fri May 7
This Week's Prayer
Remembering the words of the 14th-century saint, Julian of Norwich, England:
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well, for there is a force of love moving through the universe that holds us fast and will never let us go.”Dear Force of Love,
You move through the universe. You hold us fast. Force of love, you will never let us go.
Worldwide, reported new cases of, and deaths from, Covid-19 both began coming down a little bit in the last 10 days. But the situation in India continues to be disheartening. The reported deaths are now averaging 3700 a day there, and the actual deaths are likely much higher.
The parts of the world that rely most on humanitarian aid are plunged into great need and greater famine as the pandemic exacerbates shortages. Let us name: Yemen, Haiti, Syria, South Sudan and Tigray, and Ethiopia. Human rights are denied on a large scale. Let us name: Myanmar, Afghanistan, Columbia, Palestine, and Israel. May we remember we are all human together.
The human animal like many other animals is prone to aggression; like many other animals engages in competitions for mates, sometimes violently; like many other animals is subject to fear, and sometimes stampedes; and like many other animals, we human animals love our young and grieve for our dead. Let us not in overweening pride think our species superior. We are much more like than unlike even our most distant vertebrate relative, and this shared animality links us with creation, grounds us in this common Earth. Our animal bodies give us most of the pleasures we know, and are the source for the metaphors we weave in our more intellectual pleasures. “We are made of dreams and bones,” as the song says. Mostly bones – and it is from the bones that the dreams emerge.
Dear Force of Love, let us be your hands to do the work, your ears to hear the cries of the world, and your mouths to speak for justice.
We are grateful:
for air, and lungs to breathe;
for sunlight, and skin to feel it;
for the bonds of community that hold us.
for the announcement that the latest ebola outbreak in Democratic Republic of Congo has been contained;
for the hard work of those sewing to seek an end to menstrual period poverty especially for refugees;
for medical personnel who have been overstressed for over a year and continue to serve need.
We ask of ourselves the mindful intention to delight in what is good, to confront what is cruel, to heal what is broken.
Amen
Covid Review
Worldwide.
The Worldwide numbers are not reliable, and likely are greatly underestimating the actual prevalence of Covid-19. These numbers may nevertheless give us an indication of trends.
The 7DMA (7-Day Moving Average) of new cases per day: after increasing steeply for more than 9 weeks, began leveling off last week, and actually declining this week. It is still 2.2 times what it was as rececently as Feb 20.
Worldwide 7DMA of new cases as of:
Jan 11: 745,294
Feb 20: 360,887
Apr 22: 807,359
Apr 29: 830,044
May 6: 794,705
The 7DMA of deaths per day, worldwide, peaked on Jan 26, and fell steadily until Mar 12 -- a decline of 43 percent over 45 days.
From Mar 12 to Apr 30, however, deaths increased, growing by 62% over the Mar 12 level.
Since Apr 30, reported deaths have been coming down a bit.
Worldwide 7DMA of deaths as of:
Jan 26: 14,459
Mar 12: 8,296
Apr 22: 12,223
Apr 29: 13,466
May 6: 12,899
United States.
In the US, the 7DMA of new cases per peaked on Jan 11. New cases then fell sharply for six weeks: by Feb 21, it was down 73 percent from Jan 11.
From Feb 21 to Apr 17, the rate of new cases stayed essentially flat, wavering up and down only a little: about 64,000 new cases a day, plus or minus 8,600. It's been on a slow decline this week, and, as of Apr 29 broke through the lower limit of that range -- barely. New cases per day are now lower than at any time since last Oct 7.
U.S. 7DMA of new cases as of:
Jan 11: 255,546
Feb 21: 69,070
Apr 22: 64,296
Apr 29: 54,815
May 6: 46,308
Deaths have flattened out, particularly in the last month -- but they are, very slowly, declining. The 7DMA of Covid deaths per day as of May 6 is 692 -- the lowest since last Jul 10.
U.S. 7DMA of deaths as of:
Jan 26: 3,472
Apr 1: 919
Apr 8: 783
Apr 15: 742
Apr 22: 744
Apr 29: 731
May 6: 692
So be careful! We're not out of the woods yet.
ICYMI ("In Case You Missed It")
Here's the May 2 service, "Healing"
Practice of the Week
Risk the Dreaded Experience. Sometimes, maybe, you’re inhibited by an unreasonable fear. Suppose you'd like more caring from someone, but past experience makes you cautious about revealing those vulnerable longings, so you play it safe and don't ask for anything.
In what ways for you has an emerging self-expression been inhibited? Maybe you’d like to get closer to someone, but risk of rejection inhibits you. Maybe your expression of your feelings is inhibited – or a desire to do something. Sometimes the inhibition is reasonable, but often it’s not -- because the brain’s negativity bias overestimates both the likelihood of a bad outcome from self-expression and the amount of pain you'll feel if something bad actually happens.
Start by observing how this sequence proceeds in your mind:
(1) self-expression --> (2) expectation of pain --> (3) inhibition.
Next, challenge your expectations. Are they really true? Help yourself appreciate the fact that expressing your emotions and wants -- in reasonably skillful ways -- will usually lead to good results.
Then, move out of your comfort zone by taking calculated risks. Start with the easy ones and work your way up the ladder of increasingly vulnerable and high-stakes self-expression.
A wonderful freedom grows in the heart as you do this. You're less cowed by dreaded experiences. If a painful result does happen, notice you can cope with it OK. Overall, it’s probably worth occasional pain for the pleasures of fuller self-expression. Last, when it turns out fine, take it in.
For more details on risking the dreaded experience, see the post: Risk the Dreaded Experience.
See also our SPIRITUAL PRACTICE DIRECTORY
2021-05-05
Music: Sun May 9
Some pieces need to change keys and others can barely find them. Preludes by J. S. Bach and Frederic Chopin illustrate contrasting outlooks on just what music "needs" to do. Elsewhere, Mother's Day finds musical resonance in a work by Clara Wieck Schumann, who busied herself raising 8 children and supporting her husband Robert through bouts of extreme bipolar disorder and mental disease--when not concertizing or composing her own works! Thoughts of maternity inform as well "Removalist Rag" by the Uzbekistani-born composer Elena Kats-Chernin, who moved with her three sons to Sidney, Australia in the mid-1990's. Writing of the experience of relocation, the composer shares, "Begun in D Minor at the Peggy Glansville-Hicks House, I finished it later in my present house, in Coogee, Sydney, but in C-sharp minor. So, the title comes from the "moving house" experience." Elsewhere, the CUUC Choir Quartet serves up a virtual performance of Bobby Day's eternally vernal "Rockin' Robin". Stay tuned for spoken introductions, and read on for programming details.
Centering Music: Adam Kent, piano
Prelude in E Major, W.T.C. I
J. S. Bach
Anthem: CUUC Choir Quartet, directed by Lisa N. Meyer and accompanied by Georgianna Pappas
"Rockin' Robin"
Bobby Day, arr. by Roger Emerson
Musical Meditation:
Prelude in A Minor, Op. 28, No. 2
Frederic Chopin
Interlude:
"Removalist Rag"
Elena
Kats-Chernin (b. 1957)
Parting Music:
Mazurka in G Major, Op. 6, No. 5
Clara Wieck Schumann
Risk the Dreaded Experience
Practice of the Week
Risk the Dreaded Experience
Risk the Dreaded Experience
See also: "Succeed at Rejection", which was also about taking the risk to face a dreaded experience.
Adapted from Rick Hanson, Just One Thing
Consequently, the following sequence routinely happens inside you, me, and everyone else many times a day -- usually within a few seconds and often unconsciously:
- A feeling or desire emerges in the mind, seeking expression.
- This activates an associated expectation of emotional pain (from subtle unease to extreme trauma) if the feeling or desire is expressed; this pain is the "dreaded experience."
- This expectation triggers an inhibition of the original feeling or desire in order to avoid risking the dreaded experience.
Take a moment to find one or more ways that this sequence -- (1) an emerging self-expression leads to (2) an associated expectation, which leads to (3) an inhibiting response -- unfolds in your mind. Here are some examples:
- (1) You want to get closer (e.g., emotionally, physically) to someone, but (2) moving closer exposes you to the risk of rejection, so (3) you do something that is distancing.
- (1) A feeling comes up (e.g., sadness, anger) but (2) expressing this feeling (or feelings in general) was discouraged in your childhood, so (3) you change the subject, make a joke, or otherwise move away from the emotion.
- (1) A desire arises to make something happen (e.g., aim for a new goal at work, write a song, plant a garden), but (2) you fear being unsuccessful, unsupported, scorned, or thwarted if you stick your neck out, so (3) you set aside your dream one more day.
But if you're like me and most people, your expectations of pain are often unreasonable. The negativity bias of the brain makes you overestimate both the likelihood of a bad outcome from self-expression and the amount of pain you'll feel if something bad actually happens. Further, the deep-down expectations that most shape self-expression developed when you were a child, so it is normal for them to be:
- Concrete, simplistic, and rigid -- even though now you can think in more abstract, complex, and flexible ways
- Based on a time when you (a) were stuck with certain people (e.g., family members, peers), (b) had few resources, and (c) felt pain keenly -- even though now you have much more (a) choice in your relationships, (b) assertiveness, money, and other resources, and (c) capacity to cope with pain.
What's the alternative?
It's to risk the dreaded experience -- and reap the rewards that result. For example:
- (1) Wishing for something from an intimate partner, (2) you feel nervous about saying it, yet you know it's likely to be well-received and that you'll be fundamentally all right if it's not, so (3) you decide to speak up and risk feeling let down -- and with some zigs and zags, it works out pretty well.
- (1) You don't feel your boss fully appreciates your abilities, but (2) he reminds you of your critical father and you dread those old feelings of hurt and low worth if you ask for more challenging (and interesting) assignments. So you plan carefully and identify a project he'll probably support, and you bring to mind, again and again, positive experiences of feeling seen and valued by others to help you cope if he is dismissive of you. (3) Having done your homework, you approach your boss with strength and clarity, which increases your odds of success.
- (1) You want to start a business. (2) Even though you worry about looking like a fool if it fails, you remind yourself that most people respect those who stick their necks out and have an entrepreneurial spirit. (3) So you start that business and do your best, at peace with whatever may happen.
How
Start by observing how this sequence proceeds in your mind:
(1) self-expression --> (2) expectation of pain --> (3) inhibition.This is the most important step (which is why the explanation above is longer than usual). You'll frequently see it in retrospect, when you replay a response you had in a situation -- a (3) -- and realize that its function was to shut down your self-expression. At bottom, many of our reactions are strategies (often unconscious ones) for avoiding a dreaded experience.
Next, challenge your expectations. Are they really true? Help yourself appreciate the fact that expressing your emotions and wants -- in reasonably skillful ways -- will usually lead to good results. Speak to yourself like a wise, firm, and encouraging swim coach talking you through the first time you dove into a pool, with lines like Other people have done this; it turned out okay for them and it can be the same for you. You have the abilities to make this work. Yes, it won't be perfect and might be uncomfortable, but you will be all right. I believe in you. Believe in yourself.
Then, move out of your comfort zone by taking calculated risks. Start with easy situations in which the odds of self-expression causing a bad result are small -- and even if the bad result were to occur, it would be only mildly uncomfortable for you. Then work your way up the ladder of increasingly vulnerable and high-stakes self-expression. A wonderful freedom grows in the heart as you do this; you're less cowed by dreaded experiences and not clipping your wings to avoid them. If a particular self-expression does lead to a painful result for you, notice that you can cope with this pain and that it soon comes to an end, and absorb the reasonable lessons (e.g., it's not wise to confide in a certain friend). Overall, you could well decide that it's worth occasionally feeling some pain in order to gain the much greater pleasures of fuller self-expression.
Last, take it in when you risk self-expression and it turns out fine (as it usually does). Really highlight it in your mind when pessimistic expectations don't come true, or when feared events do occur but they're not all that upset¬ting. Open to the satisfaction of expressing yourself, and let it sink in. Feel the healthy pride and self-respect earned by being brave enough to dive in.
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For list of all weekly practices: "Spiritual Practice Directory"
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