Community UU Matters

2018-01-04

RE News: Sun Jan 7

Lifespan Religious Education

Happy New Year! I am looking forward to the time we will have together in 2018. What covenant will you make as a family in the New Year? Individual resolutions have a low success rate, but what if you create an intention as a family and remind each other of the commitment? If you decide to try this exercise, I would be curious to hear what you decided to do as a family for 2018, or at least for January. So, will it be keeping the car clean, not raising voices to each other, going on an adventure, eating dinner together often, or something else? May your family resolutions bring added joy and fulfillment to your lives.

Please see the following five (5) announcements:

1) This Sun Jan 7
K-5th start in Fellowship Hall for Children's Worship that includes an offertory for a social justice cause.
6th-12th start in their classrooms.

Classes
Pre-K - Chalice Children
K-1 - Creating Home: Hearth and Home
2nd-3rd - Passport to Spirituality: Japan (Shintoism)
4th-5th - Bibleodeon: Jacob
6th-7th – Judaism Intro
8th-9th – Coming of Age: Good vs. Evil
10th-12th – Youth Group

To view the Religious Education Google calendar, CLICK HERE.
To view a spreadsheet version of the RE Calendar, CLICK HERE.

2) Wisdom Reading & Study Group This Sun at 11:40
An opportunity for spiritual growth.

Join us to discuss Becoming Wise, by Krista Tippett, and related topics.
“...This is brilliant thinking, beautiful storytelling and practical insight.” - Brené Brown

“The enduring question of what it means to be human has become inextricable from the challenge of who we are to one another.”

Related podcast and other related materials, CLICK HERE. Bring a related reading of your own.

For questions or further information, please contact Sabrina Cleary at clearytheory@gmail.com.

3) Neighboring Faiths Experience
Are you interested in learning more about different religions? Join
the Neighboring Faiths teaching team to explore your own faith development as you support our 6th-7th graders. Contact me at dlre@cucwp.org for more information.

4) Faith Development Friday - Jan 19

6:30 Pizza dinner
7:15 Spiritual centering
7:30 Programs that include…

Faith Like a River
The Wisdom RE Ministry Team invites you to an Adult RE experience facilitated by Rev. Meredith.
This class explores the people, ideas, and movements that have shaped our faith heritage.
What lessons do the stories of our history teach that can help us live more faithfully in the present?
What lessons do they offer to be lived into the future?

Youth Social and Movie Night
Hang out in the Youth Room for a special night of fun. Gnomes welcome.

Family Journey Group
Parents gather to discuss the theme of resilience (facilitated by Barbara Montrose), while children have their own group with activities and discussion based on the theme (facilitated by Perry Montrose, DLRE). Adult without children are invited to participate in the adult group.

5) Chili Brunch Jan 21
The heat of chili and the warmth of community.

Hosted by the 6th-7th grade class to support their social justice projects.
Cost: $5 per Adult, $3 per child, $15 max per family.

Sincerely,
Perry
Director of Lifespan Religious Education and Faith Development

2018-01-02

Music: Sun Jan 7

Spiritual resilience is embodied in a variety of ways in this Sunday’s musical selections at CUUC. Following an incomparable career as a barn-storming virtuoso pianist showman, Franz Liszt focused increasingly on spirituality as he matured, eventually taking minor orders in the Roman Catholic Church. The second of his “Two Legends” for solo piano relates the tale of St Francis of Paola who crossed the Strait of Messina to Sicily treading upon the waters, when he and his traveling companions were refused passage in a commercial vessel. Liszt described the story in a letter to Richard Wagner thus: "On his outspread cloak he strides firmly, steadfastly, over the tumultuous waves - his left hand holding burning coals, his right hand giving the sign of blessing, His gaze is directed upwards, where the word Charitas surrounded by an aureole lights his way.”

J. S. Bach’s boundless Lutheran faith is on display in an introspective chorale-prelude arranged for piano by Ferruccio Busoni, and the poignant African-American Spiritual “Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child” is performed as a set of variations for piano by Samuel Coleridge-Taylor. Finally, the morning’s Offertory speaks not to any overtly religious theme, but provides testimony of Ludwig van Beethoven’s imperturbable resilience in the face of the cruelest of disabilities. His Bagatelle in b minor is among his last works for solo piano—music written from a state of near-total deafness.

Read on for programming details.

Visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GcDsqkOcjI for a live performance of Liszt’s Legende No. 2 by Alfred Brendel.

Centering Music: Adam Kent, piano
Deux Légendes

II. St. Francis of Paola Walking on the Waves

Franz Liszt

Opening Music:
“I Call On Thee, Lord”

J. S. Bach, arr. by Ferruccio Busoni

Offertory:
Bagatelle in B Minor, Op. 126, No. 4

Ludwig van Beethoven

Interlude:
Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child

Traditional African-American, arr. by Samuel Coleridge-Taylor

Take the Resilience Inventory

Practice of the Week
Take a Resilience Inventory

Category: Occasional. These are practices suggested for "every once in a while." Some of them are responses to a particular need that may arise; others are simply enriching occasional enhancements to the spiritual life. All of them are worth a try at least once. And any of them might become a regular and central part of your spiritual practice.

From First Unitarian Church of Albuquerque, NM, drawing on:
Al Siebert, “13 Ways to Develop Your Resiliency";
Brad Waters, "10 Traits of Emotionally Resilient People,";
a Harvard Medical School symposium, HERE.

Take this resilience inventory. Read the qualities listed below. For each quality, mark a + (plus) by the ones at which you world rate yourself as reasonably proficient. Mark a ^ (up arrow) by the ones in which you don’t feel proficient and want to work on.
Alternative: mark a + (plus) by the THREE at which you're most proficient. Mark a ^ (up arrow) by the THREE at which you're least proficient.

_____ Constantly learn from experience. James Joyce said, “A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.”

Consider some difficult experiences you havehad in your life. Ask yourself: What is the lesson to be learned here? Think of a key lesson you have learned from a stressful experience that you later applied to another situation.

_____ Have good friendships, loving relationships. Talking with friends and family diminishes the
impact of difficulties and increases feelings of self-worth, self-confidence and connectedness.

Think of a time when talking to someone made a dramatic difference to you as you were going through a difficult situation.

_____ Express feelings honestly. Highly resilient people can express anger, love, dislike,
appreciation, grief – the entire range of emotions honestly and openly. They can be vulnerable with
those they trust and can also suppress their feelings when they believe it best to do so.

Think of a time when were you able to express your feelings clearly and openly.

_____ Willing to sit in silence. We are masters of distraction: TV, overeating, abusing drugs, gossip,
etc. We all react differently; some shut down, others ramp up. Somewhere in the middle is
mindfulness, one of the oldest forms of healing and resilience building.

How well are you able to be mindful? What might you do to improve this quality in your life?

_____ Practice acceptance. Pain is painful, stress is stressful, and healing takes time. When we’re in
the middle of it, we want the pain to go away. Acceptance is not about giving up, it’s about leaning in
to experience the full range of emotions, trusting that we will bounce back.

How well are you able to accept your emotions when you experience a major setback?

____ Have solid self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. It acts as a buffer against
hurtful statements and destructive events. It is based on inner factors such as attributes, values and
principles rather than external factors such as job title, income level, physical attributes, and others’
opinions.

Complete this sentence: 3 things I really like about myself are:...

_____ Practice forgiveness. There is a strong correlation between forgiveness, hope, and
depression. We may not forget what happened, but we can forgive.

Think of a situation when you have forgiven someone (or yourself), and that forgiveness has enriched your life in some way.

_____ Mentally and emotionally flexible; comfortable with contradictory personality qualities.
Being both strong and gentle; sensitive and tough; logical and intuitive; serious and playful, etc. are a
few.

List a couple of contradictory personality qualities you have.

_____ Find purpose or meaning. Viktor Frankl said that to live happily, humans don’t require the
absence of suffering, but “the call of potential meaning.”
Recall a time when you found and focused

on the meaningful parts of a misfortune or struggle you experienced.

_____ Expect things to work out well. Look for the joy. Research shows that people who cultivate
positive emotion generally deal much better with adversity.

Find new things to be grateful for, focus on the good, exercise, meditate, do random acts of kindness. If you already practice some of these, think about how they affect your life. Which other practices might you consider adding to your life?

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

2017-12-28

RE News: Sun Dec 31

Lifespan Religious Education

Nora will sometimes pause during the day to name people she loves. They could be from one side of the family or both, and include schoolmates, family friends, and people from the congregation. It is often a reminder of all the people who are involved in her life and have affected her in some way. I have been realizing how much her gratitude practice has been uplifting for me. It is a joy to hear her name the people she is feeling connected to and a reminder of how important that is for all of us. I am grateful for my connection with each of you and look forward to seeing you in the New Year. When it arrives, may the names of those you love and appreciate be flowing from you lips and ringing in your ears.

Please see the following four (4) announcements:

1) This Sun Dec 31
No regular RE classes. Childcare will be available for all children who would like to play.

Classes begin again on Sun Jan 7.

2) The Mitten Tree

Please bring mittens, hats, gloves, and scarves of all sizes and place them on the Mitten Tree in the sanctuary.

These items are for men, women, and children of local shelters:
The Coachman Family Center, Open Arms, and Samaritan House.
Help us bring warmth to their holiday season, emotionally and physically.

2017-12-23

Proposal that CUUC take a position on Escalating Economic Inequity

Acronyms:
UUA: Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations
GA: General Assembly
SOC: Statement of Conscience
CSAI: Congregational Study/Action Issue
CSW: Commission on Social Witness

We Unitarian Universalists sharply limit ourselves when it comes to issuing official Statements of Conscience. The UUA process allows for no more than one Statement of Conscience (SOC) to be adopted every two years.

Last Jun, the General Assembly adopted a Statement of Conscience on Income Inequality. It's a denominational statement. Would CUUC adopt it as a statement of our congregation's statement?

How Did this Statement of Conscience on Income Inequality Come About?

In brief: the process begins with selection of a Congregational Study/Action Issue (CSAI) for a four-year period of study and action. At the 2014 June, General Assembly (GA) the delegates selected "Income Inequality" as the CSAI for 2014-2018. At the end of year three, the study and action culminated in adoption of a Statement of Conscience (SOC) about income inequality.

Here's how that unfolded:

2014 Nov. The Commission on Social Witness produced an 18-page study guide for congregations to explore the Income Inequality issue (HERE).

2015 Mar was the deadline for congregations to submit first-year comments on the Income Inequality CSAI to the Commission on Social Witness (CSW).

2015 June, GA: Making use of the comments from congregations, the Commmission on Social Witness (CSW) conducted programs and workshops on the topic of the CSAI and reported on congregational involvement with the issue.

2015 Summer - 2016 Spring: Congregations continued programs of education and reflection, community organizing, advocacy, and public witness on the Income Inequality CSAI.

2016 Mar was the deadline for congregations to submit second-year comments to the CSW. The CSW used these comments to refine the Resource Guide and help prepare for workshops on this issue at the 2016 GA.

2016 June, GA: The CSW conducted a second year of workshops on the CSAI. One workshop included reports on successful practices and discussed future possibilities. Delegates selected another CSAI for 2016-2020: "The Corruption of Our Democracy."

2016 Nov: Using all the input submitted by congregations over two years, and the comments from General Assembly workshops, the CSW issued a first draft Statement of Conscience (SOC) on Income Inequality. The first draft statement and a ballot to place the SOC on the agenda of the 2017 GA was included in the annual congregational poll, conducted with annual membership certification.

2017 Feb was the deadline for congregational poll ballots (a quorum of 25% participation required), and for submission of comments on the draft SOC. A quorum was satisfied, and the CSW then prepared a revised draft of the SOC, incorporating the comments submitted on the first draft. The revised draft was then placed on the 2017 GA agenda.

2017 June, GA: Delegates considered the revised SOC. Early in the GA, a "mini-assembly" on the SOC was held for any interested delegates to discuss and propose amendments to the SOC. The CSW then worked into the night considering all the comments -- which to combine, which to "incorporate" (include in the SOC version to go to the floor for a vote) and which to list as "unincorporated amendments." (When the SOC came to the GA floor, any delegate could move to incorporate any of the unincorporated amendments.) Later in the GA, the SOC came to the General Assembly floor for a vote. A few of the unincorporated amendments were debated, and one of them passed. With approval requiring a 2/3 vote of the delegates, the 2017 GA approved the SOC now titled: "Escalating Economic Inequity."

With the SOC thus adopted at the end of year three, year four is the "Implementation Year" for congregations to work on implementing the Statement of Conscience.

How will CUUC implement this SOC?

That's up to us, of course. We can ignore the statement, consider and discuss it and then decide not to adopt anything, adopt an amended form of the statement, or adopt the SOC as it is. The statement includes a number of suggested actions: it falls to us to decide which ones our congregation will pursue.

A SOC adopted at General Assembly 2017 is HERE.

This has been amended at CUUC Congregational forums on Jan 14, Feb 4, and Mar 11. The resulting proposal that CUUC take a position on Escalating Economic Inequality is HERE.

A special congregational meeting has been called for Sun Apr 29 to vote on whether to adopt this proposal.

Are there further changes you'd like to see? We need to receive them by Apr 8. You may submit a proposed change by Commenting on this post.

2017-12-21

From the Minister, Thu Dec 21

As 2017 nears its end, I am reflecting in gratitude on what a wonderful congregation this is that I am fortunate to serve. It never ceases to astonish me that there are such good and capable people in this world.

There are Unitarian Universalists all over the country, of course -- something like 200,000 adults if we go by church membership rolls, and something like 600,000 if we go by telephone polls (apparently, for every actual member of a UU congregation, there are two others who aren't members but will tell a phone pollster that they're UU), and 1,000 congregations. It's true that these numbers are small compared to the total population -- less than one-tenth of one percent of the population -- but that still seems to me like a lot of folks willing to commit to the combination of congregational life plus Unitarian Universalist principles and values. I've been to a lot of UU congregations all over the country, and I know us: amazingly dedicated to nurturing our spirits and helping to heal the world. It's astounding.

But I'm not really talking about UUs-in-general. I'm talking about the amazing UUs of the congregation I know best: Community UU at White Plains. You rock! Seeing your faces on Sunday morning is unfailingly the highlight of my week. Some of you arrive exultant, and I am lifted by your triumph. Some of you arrive carrying a burden of worry or sadness, and I am touched and honored by your humanity and presence.

Our congregation is so vibrant: the Brunches! the Choir! all the RE Classes and Projects and Activities! the Journey Groups! the Social Justice Teams! the Annual Auction! The Annual Canvass! The Long-Range Planning Team! In the Spirit of Truth! More programs than I can name, even if I could shake a stick at them all. And on and on. As I write this, the chancel in the sanctuary is festooned with a vast poinsettia array -- testament to some of our members' care to bring seasonal beauty to our shared worship space -- and beside the chancel is a tree covered with hats and gloves -- testament to the congregation's compassionate care for those who don't find it easy to stay warm through the winter.

We are here to do the work: the "liturgy" (which means "the work of the people") of our weekly rhythm, and beyond; the "work of Christmas" as Howard Thurman says:

"When the song of angels is stilled, when the star in the sky is gone, when the kings and princes are home, when the shepherds are back with their flock, the work of Christmas begins: to find the lost, to heal the broken, to feed the hungry, to release the prisoner, to rebuild the nations, to bring peace among the brothers, to make music in the heart."

We have the work of expanding and maturing our spirits, of growing wiser and more compassionate, of examining and re-examining our concepts and habits to move toward an ever more liberative way of thinking and being. The tasks before us are sometimes daunting to me -- but I am buoyed by this congregation: by how good at, and prepared for, this work you are.

Thank you!
Meredith

Check out the two Common Reads for 2017-18: HERE
Statement of Conscience: Escalating Economic Inequity. HERE
The December issue of On the Journey explores Embodiment. Pick up a copy at CUUC, or view it HERE.

Let's Chat

The Tuesday Coffee Chat is on Christmas break next week (Dec 26). The TCC resumes on Jan 2, 3-5pm -- for anyone who might find that a convenient way to get together with their minister.

Jan: The Cafe inside the Barnes and Noble at Vernon Hills Shopping Center, 680 White Plains Rd, Eastchester
Feb: The TCC comes to Irvington! Specific location TBA.

Drop by if you can! You can also make an appointment to see me at CUUC, or invite me to visit your home. Call Pam at the church office (914-946-1660) to schedule either.

Practice of the Week

Confront Your Negative Inner Voice. In a voice full of alarm and panic, Bertha would yell, "You better NOT do that -- you'll look stupid!" When I heard her, I would immediately back off and lose my opportunity to make a friend. The fact that Bertha was only a voice inside my own head didn't make her any less scary. She was completely in control -- until I came upon a method that got her off my back and out of my head. Once her attempts to scare me no longer worked, my life radically changed. You may have your own particular form of "Bertha." It may be a voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough, or smart enough, or that you'll always be a loser. Like an out-of-control cancer, destructive thoughts can ruin a person's life if they're not confronted. READ MORE

Your Moment of Zen

Metaphysics. One can be simultaneously both a Buddhist and a Christian. There might seem to be some, um, metaphysical differences. Are the differences in the metaphysical doctrines of Buddhists and Christians relevant to whether one can be both Buddhist and Christian? This question has far too many wheels, cogs, bells, flashing lights. A person could get lost in all that machinery. Can you not be away and at home at the same time? Is there not something to which all things relate, something that vanishes if named, and has in any case been vanished from the beginning?

Case

That evening Owl said, "I'm still thinking about our experience at the Little Church in the Grotto. Can a Buddhist be a Christian?"
Raven said, "Love thy neighbor."
Owl asked, "Can a Christian be a Buddhist?"
Raven said, "There are lots of them."
Owl asked, "Aren't you bypassing a conflict in metaphysics?"
Raven asked, "What has metaphysics got to do with it?"
Owl asked, "What is the antecedent of 'it'?"
Raven said, "Good move, Owl.

Verse

Crane references God; Raven not so much.
Still: the mystery, humility, not knowing.
Raven mentions karma; Crane points to grace.
Still: sunshine and air are not earned,
nor our parents' love,
nor that nuthatch in the birch;
and causes have effects.
Choose a language, get a loyalty.
Choose a loyalty, get a language.
Who can name the antecedent?

Case by Robert Aitken; introduction and verse by Meredith Garmon

Previous Moment of Zen
Saturday Zen Practice at CUUC: HERE

Other News for Sun Dec 24
RE News
Music News
From Ministerial Intern
This week's e-Communitarian
Practice: Confront Your Negative Inner Voice

Confront Your Negative Inner Voice

Practice of the Week
Confront Your Negative Inner Voice

Category: Slogans to live by. Practices for everyone to keep in mind and pay attention to. These practices don't require setting aside a separate substantial chunk of time. Just have the intention to grow stronger in each of these areas as you go about your day, and sometimes make one of them the focus of your daily journaling. The titles of these practices are guiding slogans to live by.

adapted from Jonathan Robinson, Find Happiness Now

When I was in my early teen years, I barely spoke. People considered me to be painfully shy. However, the real reason I didn't talk was because I was a slave to someone known as Bertha. Bertha would scream at me whenever I attempted to make friends with anyone. In a voice full of alarm and panic, she would yell, "You better NOT do that -- you'll look stupid!" When I heard her, I would immediately back off and lose my opportunity to make a friend. The fact that Bertha was only a voice inside my own head didn't make her any less scary. She was completely in control -- until I came upon a method that got her off my back and out of my head. Once her attempts to scare me no longer worked, my life radically changed.

You may have your own particular form of "Bertha." It may be a voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough, or smart enough, or that you'll always be a loser. Like an out-of-control cancer, destructive thoughts can ruin a person's life if they're not confronted.

STEP ONE: Clearly identify the harmful voices in your head. While we all have critical thoughts from time to time, most people have one or two thought patterns that are particularly destructive and limiting. What are yours? (See the Practice of the Week: "Assess the Strength of Your Inner Critic")

Here are ten thought patterns that often give people problems:

I should just kill myself.
I hate myself.
I can't do anything right.
No one could ever love me.
I better not say anything because I'll just look foolish.
I'm so ugly (or fat).
I'm so stupid.
S/he is going to pay for what s/he did to me.
I can't believe I did that. I am so dumb.
I just need a stiff drink (or smoke, etc.) and everything will be OK.

Once you recognize a specific destructive thought pattern from your own life or the above list, it's helpful to give it a name. With apologies to all women named Bertha, that was the name I chose to represent my negative inner voice. "Bertha" represented to me an imposing, mean, nasty-tempered authoritarian. When that voice in my head said, "You better not do that -- you'll look stupid!" identifying the voice as "Bertha" helped me create some distance. With the voice named, it didn't seem so ominous. It was no longer me saying I needed to behave a certain way -- it was mean and nasty Bertha. What name could you give to a specific voice in your head? Any name will do. The important thing is that you know precisely the thought pattern to which the name corresponds. Once you've identified a specific voice and given it a name that fits, you're ready for the confrontation.

Negative inner voices affect our lives only when we take them seriously. Harmful voices feed off our reaction to them. If we can laugh at them or even ignore them, they soon wither and die. They have no power other than the energy we give them. Once a negative inner voice has been identified and named, we're ready for step two.

STEP TWO: Practice ways of distancing yourself from the negative, harmful voice. There are two ways to do this:

(A.) Have a dialog with the negative inner voice. When you do this, imagine that your "Bertha" (or "Sam" or whatever name you've picked) has been assigned the job of annoying and controlling you. Your job, on the other hand, is to avoid taking its ranting seriously. Talk to the voice -- silently, or even out loud. Say things like:

"Hello, I was expecting you now. I hear what you're saying, and you always say the same old stuff. I'm not buying it. Get some new material if you expect to hook me like you used to."
"Why don't you just calm down and take your finger off the panic button? I know you think you're trying to protect me, but you're not needed now. Everything is just fine, and you just sound stupid when you get hysterical."

Your dialog with your negative inner voice should be whatever works for you. In general, the more your "Bertha" realizes you are hip to its ways, the more it will leave you alone.

(B.) Change the tone of voice in which she speaks to you. Most people hear their negative inner voice speaking in a mean, scary, or urgent tone. Much of the impact of these harmful thoughts comes not just from what they say, but how they sound. Fortunately, you can easily change the tone of the voice to sound ridiculous. Next time you hear your particular brand of Bertha, try repeating the words in Mickey Mouse voice. Or try Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny -- whatever voice works for you to make your negative inner voice sound silly. No matter what you think, it's hard to take it seriously if it's in a Bugs Bunny voice.

As you talk back to your Bertha, or change her tone of voice to sound funny, you'll no longer find her to be so scary or bothersome. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but passing thoughts need not hurt you if you don't take them seriously. The bothersome thoughts of a negative inner voice are a great burden, and it feels wonderful to have that burden lifted. You'll be free to act in ways that you previously avoided, and you'll be able to create new outcomes in your life. Confronting your negative inner voice -- getting it out of your head and off your back -- can help you soar to new heights.

For Journaling

At first, you may not be able to confront your negative inner voice "on the spot" and in the moment when the voice arises. So practice with your journal. At the end of the day -- or the beginning of the next one -- address your negative inner voice in your journal. Write it a letter. Address your voice by name (whatever name you've given it), tell it what its usual patterns are, and why you're not going to let it be in charge any more.

* * *
See also:
Out Your Inner Awesome: "How to Silence Your Negative Inner Voice"
Psychology Today, "Steps to Overcoming Your Critical Inner Voice"
Psych Central, "Three Unique Techniques for Navigating a Negative Inner Voice"