Meditate

Practice of the Week
Meditate

Category: This is one of the Three Core Daily Practices. In addition to your chosen spiritual practice, every day devote 10-30 mins to each of the three core daily practices (meditation, journaling, and study).

"Dedicating some time to meditation is a meaningful expression of caring for yourself that can help you move through the mire of feeling unworthy of recovery. As your mind grows quieter and more spacious, you can begin to see self-defeating thought patterns for what they are, and open up to other, more positive options." -Sharon Salzberg

Why to Meditate

From: "Benefits of Meditation," artofliving.org (original: HERE)

Physical Benefits of Meditation

With meditation, the physiology undergoes a change and every cell in the body is filled with more prana (energy). This results in joy, peace, enthusiasm as the level of prana in the body increases.

On a physical level, meditation:

• Lowers high blood pressure
• Lowers the levels of blood lactate, reducing anxiety attacks
• Decreases any tension-related pain, such as, tension headaches, ulcers, insomnia, muscle and joint problems
• Increases serotonin production that improves mood and behavior
• Improves the immune system
• Increases the energy level, as you gain an inner source of energy

Mental Benefits of Meditation

Meditation brings the brainwave pattern into an Alpha state that promotes healing. The mind becomes fresh, delicate and beautiful. With regular practice of meditation:

• Anxiety decreases
• Emotional stability improves
• Creativity increases
• Happiness increases
• Intuition develops
• Gain clarity and peace of mind
• Problems become smaller
• Meditation sharpens the mind by gaining focus and expands through relaxation
• A sharp mind without expansion causes tension, anger and frustration
• An expanded consciousness without sharpness can lead to lack of action/progress
• The balance of a sharp mind and an expanded consciousness brings perfection

Meditation makes you aware - that your inner attitude determines your happiness.

Other Benefits of Meditation

• Emotional steadiness and harmony. It cleanses and nourishes you from within and calms you, whenever you feel overwhelmed, unstable, or emotionally shut down.
• Meditation brings harmony in creation. When you meditate, you are in the space of vastness, calmness and joy and this is what you emit into the environment, bringing harmony to the Creation/planet.
• Personal Transformation. Meditation can bring about a true personal transformation. As you learn more about yourself, you’ll naturally start discovering more about yourself

How To Get The Benefits

To experience the benefits of meditation, regular practice is necessary. It takes only a few minutes every day. Once imbibed into the daily routine, meditation becomes the best part of your day!

Meditation is like a seed. When you cultivate a seed with love, the more it blossoms.

Busy people from all backgrounds are grateful to pause and enjoy a refreshing few minutes of meditation each day. Dive deep into yourself and enrich your life.

* * *

Adapted from: Belle Beth Cooper, "What Happens to the Brain When You Meditate (And How It Benefits You)," Lifehacker.com (full original: HERE.)

I’ve found how simple (not easy, but simple) meditation can be and what huge benefit it can have for my day to day happiness.

As an adult, I first started my meditation practice with just two minutes per day. Two minutes! I got that idea from Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits blog, where he points out how starting with a tiny habit is the first step to consistently achieving it. So even thought two minutes won’t make much difference, that’s where I started.

What is Meditation?

There are different ways to meditate. Scientific research tends to focus on two:

Focused-attention, or mindful meditation, which is where you focus on one specific thing—it could be your breathing, a sensation in your body or a particular object outside of you. The point of this type of meditation is to focus strongly on one point and continually bring your attention back to that focal point when it wanders.

The other type of meditation that’s often used in research is open-monitoring meditation. This is where you pay attention to all of the things happening around you—you simply notice everything without reacting.

What Happens in Your Brain When You Meditate

This is where things get really interesting. Using modern technology like fMRI scans, scientists have developed a more thorough understanding of what’s taking place in our brains when we meditate. The overall difference is that our brains stop processing information as actively as they normally would. We start to show a decrease in beta waves, which indicate that our brains are processing information, even after a single 20-minute meditation session if we’ve never tried it before.

In the image below you can see how the beta waves (shown in bright colors on the left) are dramatically reduced during meditation (on the right).

What happens in each part of the brain during meditation:

• Frontal lobe. This is the most highly evolved part of the brain, responsible for reasoning, planning, emotions and self-conscious awareness. During meditation, the frontal cortex tends to go offline.
• Parietal lobe. This part of the brain processes sensory information about the surrounding world, orienting you in time and space. During meditation, activity in the parietal lobe slows down.
• Thalamus. The gatekeeper for the senses, this organ focuses your attention by funneling some sensory data deeper into the brain and stopping other signals in their tracks. Meditation reduces the flow of incoming information to a trickle.
• Reticular formation. As the brain’s sentry, this structure receives incoming stimuli and puts the brain on alert, ready to respond. Meditating dials back the arousal signal.

How Meditation Affects You

Now that we know what’s going on inside our brains, let’s take a look at the research into the ways it affects our health.

• Better Focus. Because meditation is a practice in focusing our attention and being aware of when it drifts, this actually improves our focus when we’re not meditating, as well. It’s a lasting effect that comes from regular bouts of meditation.
• Less Anxiety. This point is pretty technical, but it’s really interesting. The more we meditate, the less anxiety we have, and it turns out this is because we're actually loosening the connections of particular neural pathways. This sounds bad, but it’s not. What happens without meditation is that there’s a section of our brains that’s sometimes called the Me Center (it’s technically the medial prefrontal cortex). This is the part that processes information relating to ourselves and our experiences. Normally the neural pathways from the bodily sensation and fear centers of the brain to the Me Center are really strong. When you experience a scary or upsetting sensation, it triggers a strong reaction in your Me Center, making you feel scared and under attack. When we meditate, we weaken this neural connection. This means that we don’t react as strongly to sensations that might have once lit up our Me Centers. As we weaken this connection, we simultaneously strengthen the connection between what’s known as our Assessment Center (the part of our brains known for reasoning) and our bodily sensation and fear centers. So when we experience scary or upsetting sensations, we can more easily look at them rationally. For example, when you experience pain, rather than becoming anxious and assuming it means something is wrong with you, you can watch the pain rise and fall without becoming ensnared in a story about what it might mean.
• More Creativity. As a writer, this is one thing I’m always interested in. Unfortunately, it’s not the easiest thing to study, but there is some research into how meditation can affect our creativity. Researchers at Leiden University in the Netherlands studied both focused-attention and open-monitoring mediation to see if there was any improvement in creativity afterwards. They found that people who practiced focused-attention meditation did not show any obvious signs of improvement in the creativity task following their meditation. For those who did open-monitoring meditation, however, they performed better on a task that asked them to come up with new ideas.
• More Compassion. Research on meditation has shown that empathy and compassion are higher in those who practice meditation regularly. One experiment showed participants images of other people that were either good, bad or neutral in what they called “compassion meditation.” The participants were able to focus their attention and reduce their emotional reactions to these images, even when they weren’t in a meditative state. They also experienced more compassion for others when shown disturbing images. Part of this comes from activity in the amygdala—the part of the brain that processes emotional stimuli. During meditation, this part of the brain normally shows decreased activity, but in this experiment it was exceptionally responsive when participants were shown images of people. Another study in 2008 found that people who meditated regularly had stronger activation levels in their temporal parietal junctures (a part of the brain tied to empathy) when they heard the sounds of people suffering, than those who didn’t meditate.
• Better Memory. One of the things meditation has been linked to is improving rapid memory recall. Catherine Kerr, a researcher at the Martinos Center for Biomedical Imaging and the Osher Research Center found that people who practiced mindful meditation were able to adjust the brain wave that screens out distractions and increase their productivity more quickly that those that did not meditate. She said that this ability to ignore distractions could explain “their superior ability to rapidly remember and incorporate new facts.” This seems to be very similar to the power of being exposed to new situations that will also dramatically improve our memory of things.
• Less Stress. Mindful meditation has been shown to help people perform under pressure while feeling less stressed. A 2012 study split a group of human resources managers into three, which one third participating in mindful meditation training, another third taking body relaxation training and the last third given no training at all. A stressful multitasking test was given to all the managers before and after the eight-week experiment. In the final test, the group that had participated in the meditation training reported less stress during the test than both of the other groups.
• More Gray Matter. Meditation has been linked to larger amounts of gray matter in the hippocampus and frontal areas of the brain. I didn’t know what this meant at first, but it turns out it’s pretty great. More gray matter can lead to more positive emotions, longer-lasting emotional stability, and heightened focus during daily life. Meditation has also been shown to diminish age-related effects on gray matter and reduce the decline of our cognitive functioning.

* * *

How to Meditate

There's the "body" part and the "mind" part.

BODY

Find a posture that will allow you to stay still for the duration of your meditation period -- ideally up to 25 minutes without needing to squirm, wriggle, or adjust your position. You may need to experiment with the different posture options to find one that will allow your body to experience extended stillness.

Burmese Position

In the Burmese, the legs are crossed and both feet rest flat on the floor. The knees should also rest on the floor, though sometimes it takes a bit of stretching for the legs to drop that far. After awhile the muscles will loosen up and the knees will begin to drop. To help that happen, sit on the front third of the cushion, shifting your body forward a little bit. By imagining the top of your head pushing upward to the ceiling and by stretching your body that way, get your spine straight—then just let the muscles go soft and relax. With the buttocks up on the cushion and your stomach pushing out a little, there may be a slight curve in the lower region of the back. In this position, it takes very little effort to keep the body upright.

Half Lotus Position

In the half lotus, the left foot is placed up onto the right thigh and the right leg is tucked under. This position is slightly asymmetrical and sometimes the upper body needs to compensate in order to keep itself absolutely straight. People who use this position should make a habit of alternating which leg they bring up.

Full Lotus Position

The full lotus is the most stable of all the positions. Each foot is placed up on the opposite thigh. This is symmetrical and very solid. Stability and efficiency are the important reasons sitting cross-legged on the floor works so well. There is no esoteric significance to the different positions. What is most important is what you do with your mind. What you do with your feet or legs is merely to allow you to be stable and still.

Seiza Position

You can sit seiza (kneeling) without a pillow, kneeling, with the buttocks resting on the upturned feet which form an anatomical cushion. Or you can use a pillow to keep the weight off your ankles. A third way of sitting seiza is to use the seiza bench. It keeps all the weight off your feet and helps to keep your spine straight.

Chair Position

When sitting on a chair, ground the body by keeping your feet flat on the floor, about 8" apart, with shins perfectly vertical. You can use a cushion the same way you would use it on the floor—placing it beneath you on the chair and sitting on the forward third of it. Some people like to place a cushion between their back and the back of the chair, to keep the spine straight and vertical.

All of the aspects of the posture that are important when seated on the floor or in seiza are just as important when sitting in a chair.

Photos of positions taken from, and descriptions of positions adapted from, Zen Mountain Monastery:
http://zmm.mro.org/teachings/meditation-instructions/

In any position:

• Sit up straight. Sit on the front edge of your chair or cushion. Extend your back, lifting the top of your head as high as it will go.
• Let your shoulders and arms completely relax. With your hands resting in your lap, cup one hand inside the other with the tips of the thumbs just barely touching.
• Almost, but not quite, close your eyes. Leave them open a slit, with your gaze directed downward 45 degrees.

MIND

There are various types of meditation. Here's one excellent method, especially suitable for just starting out on a meditation practice.

Bring attention to your breathing and count each exhale to yourself. Count up to 10, then start back again at 1. Repeat counting 1 to 10 throughout the silent period.

When your mind wanders, make a note of what it wandered off doing (e.g., planning, remembering, fantasizing), then gently bring yourself back to this moment and start again at 1.

The objective is not to suppress all thought, but to notice when thoughts arise -- then return to the breath. In this way, your body-mind begins to learn that what you are is not your thoughts. Your thoughts are just something that happens to you in the same way that the weather, or intestinal gas, are things that happen to you.

Use a Timer

Decide whether you're going to meditate for 2 minutes or 10 minutes or 25 minutes or whatever. Set the timer and let the timer take care of telling you when you're done. This avoids distracting glances at a clock.

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

Study Spiritual Texts

Practice of the Week
Study Spiritual Texts

Category: This is one of the Three "Core" or "Base" Daily Practices (along with Journal and Meditate)

You can learn a lot by reading. Certain texts are helpful guides for developing spiritual wisdom.

Select worthy texts of “wisdom literature.” The scriptures of any of the world’s religions are wonderful:

• the Dao De Jing, 
• the Bhagavad Gita, and 
• the Hebrew Bible's books of Psalms, Ecclesiastes, or Proverbs 

for instance.

Aside from the canonical scriptures of established traditions, there are many works of wisdom and insight. Here is an essentially random sampling of just a few of the sort of books I have in mind, in no particular order:

Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul
Pema Chodron, The Places that Scare You
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essays: First and Second Series
Stephen Levine, A Gradual Awakening
Ram Dass, Be Here Now
Jaris Jay Masters, Finding Freedom: Writings from Death Row
Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
Chogyam Trungpa, Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism
Henry David Thoreau, Collected Essays and Poems
St. John of the Cross, Dark Night of the Soul
Jiddu Krishnamurti, The Awakening of Intelligence
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
The Writings of St. Francis of Assisi
Sharon Salzberg, A Heart as Wide as the World: Stories on the Path of Lovingkindness
Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior
Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step
Jon Kabat Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are
Howard Cutler and Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
Julian of Norwich, Showings
M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind
Carlos Castenada, The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge
Lama Surya Das, Awakening the Buddha Within
Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain
Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
Dalai Lama, An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life
Starhawk, The Spiral Dance: A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Goddess
Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart: A Guide through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life
The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila
Rabindranath Tagore, The Religion of Man
Kazuaki Tanahashi (ed. & trans.), Moon In a Dewdrop: Writings of Zen Master Dogen

Many more could be mentioned. Choose works that resonate with you, that will coach you in the ways of wise and loving peace in a way that makes sense to you.

Since spiritual deepening is never completed, maintaining a regular, ongoing discipline of study is the important thing here. Set aside 15 minutes a day for reading and reflection on your choice of wisdom literature.

There is a truth/awareness/experience beyond words. The books, of course, are all full of words. But, in combination with practices of silence, regular and continuing spiritual study can give us the words to help free ourselves from the grip of words -- the concepts to help us see through concepts.

Study of a spiritual text enlists your cognitive capacity to assist your spiritual. We live through our days full of ideas and concepts -- and most of them are connected to some form of judgment, some form of not wanting things to be as they are. Wisdom literature helps give us some concepts that can nudge some of those other concepts a little bit into the background more often.

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

Start a Journal

Practice of the Week
Start a Journal

Category: Journaling is one of the three core daily practices.

“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.” (Christina Baldwin)

“These handwritten words in the pages of my journal confirm that from an early age I have experienced each encounter in my life twice: once in the world, and once again on the page.” (Terry Tempest Williams)

How:

There are many methods for journaling. Here's a good one.

1. Set aside a time each day. Generally the best time will be either early in the morning, soon after getting out of bed, or at night just before going to bed.

2. Set a timer. What amount of time each day for personal reflection about your life feels right for you? Maybe 10 minutes? 15 minutes? Maybe longer? Once the timer starts, keep writing. Try to keep the pauses few and relatively brief. You're not writing for publication here, so, rather than think it through before writing, keep the pen moving and "let the pen do the thinking."

3. Start with gratitude. Begin by making a quick list of 3-5 things you're feeling grateful for. Repetitiveness is not a problem: if you find yourself listing the same things day after day, that's just fine. The point is just to orient yourself toward gratitude -- which is very powerful. (See the Practice of the Week: "Be Grateful" CLICK HERE.)

4. Then, as suggested in the article below, begin writing about how you're doing. What are your habits -- habits of mood as well as habits of behavior? What would you like them to be? Exactly what is it that's preventing the development of the habits you would like to have?

5. When the timer chimes (or buzzes), stop. Even if you're in mid-sentence (or mid-word), put the pen down and close the journal. We're not looking for instant transformation here. The subject will be there waiting for you to return to it tomorrow. Life itself is endlessly unfinished and often interrupted, and has recurring themes. Your journal reflects your life, and, in the process, begins to slowly change it.

from Tara Parker-Pope, "Writing Your Way to Happiness," New York Times, 2015 Jan 19:

The scientific research on the benefits of so-called expressive writing is surprisingly vast. Studies have shown that writing about oneself and personal experiences can improve mood disorders, help reduce symptoms among cancer patients, improve a person’s health after a heart attack, reduce doctor visits and even boost memory.

Now researchers are studying whether the power of writing — and then rewriting — your personal story can lead to behavioral changes and improve happiness.

The concept is based on the idea that we all have a personal narrative that shapes our view of the world and ourselves. But sometimes our inner voice doesn’t get it completely right. Some researchers believe that by writing and then editing our own stories, we can change our perceptions of ourselves and identify obstacles that stand in the way of better health.

It may sound like self-help nonsense, but research suggests the effects are real.

In one of the earliest studies on personal story editing, researchers gathered 40 college freshman at Duke University who were struggling academically. Not only were they worried about grades, but they questioned whether they were intellectual equals to other students at their school.

The students were divided into intervention groups and control groups. Students in the intervention group were given information showing that it is common for students to struggle in their freshman year. They watched videos of junior and senior college students who talked about how their own grades had improved as they adjusted to college.

The goal was to prompt these students to edit their own narratives about college. Rather than thinking they weren’t cut out for college, they were encouraged to think that they just needed more time to adjust.

The intervention results, published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, were startling. In the short term, the students who had undergone the story-changing intervention got better grades on a sample test. But the long-term results were the most impressive.

Students who had been prompted to change their personal stories improved their grade-point averages and were less likely to drop out over the next year than the students who received no information. In the control group, which had received no advice about grades, 20 percent of the students had dropped out within a year. But in the intervention group, only 1 student — or just 5 percent — dropped out.

In another study, Stanford researchers focused on African-American students who were struggling to adjust to college. Some of the students were asked to create an essay or video talking about college life to be seen by future students. The study found that the students who took part in the writing or video received better grades in the ensuing months than those in a control group.

Another writing study asked married couples to write about a conflict as a neutral observer. Among 120 couples, those who explored their problems through writing showed greater improvement in marital happiness than those who did not write about their problems.

“These writing interventions can really nudge people from a self-defeating way of thinking into a more optimistic cycle that reinforces itself,” said Timothy D. Wilson, a University of Virginia psychology professor and lead author of the Duke study.

Dr. Wilson, whose book “Redirect: Changing the Stories We Live By,” was released in paperback this month, believes that while writing doesn’t solve every problem, it can definitely help people cope. “Writing forces people to reconstrue whatever is troubling them and find new meaning in it,” he said.

Much of the work on expressive writing has been led by James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas. In one of his experiments, college students were asked to write for 15 minutes a day about an important personal issue or superficial topics. Afterward, the students who wrote about personal issues had fewer illnesses and visits to the student health center.

“The idea here is getting people to come to terms with who they are, where they want to go,” said Dr. Pennebaker. “I think of expressive writing as a life course correction.”

At the Johnson & Johnson Human Performance Institute, life coaches ask clients to identify their goals, then to write about why they haven’t achieved those goals.

Once the clients have written their old stories, they are asked to reflect on them and edit the narratives to come up with a new, more honest assessment. While the institute doesn’t have long-term data, the intervention has produced strong anecdotal results.

In one example, a woman named Siri initially wrote in her “old story” that she wanted to improve her fitness, but as the primary breadwinner for her family she had to work long hours and already felt guilty about time spent away from her children.

With prompting, she eventually wrote a new story, based on the same facts but with a more honest assessment of why she doesn’t exercise. “The truth is,” she wrote, “I don’t like to exercise, and I don’t value my health enough. I use work and the kids to excuse my lack of fitness.”

Intrigued by the evidence that supports expressive writing, I decided to try it myself, with the help of Jack Groppel, co-founder of the Human Performance Institute.

Like Siri, I have numerous explanations for why I don’t find time for exercise. But once I started writing down my thoughts, I began to discover that by shifting priorities, I am able to make time for exercise.

“When you get to that confrontation of truth with what matters to you, it creates the greatest opportunity for change,” Dr. Groppel said.

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

Choose Your Spiritual Practice

Practice of the Week
Choose Your Spiritual Practice

“You create a path of your own by looking within yourself and listening to your soul, cultivating your own ways of experiencing the sacred and then practicing it. Practicing until you make it a song that sings you." (Sue Monk Kidd)

The "Practice of the Week" has offered many practices to help in the development of mental, psychological, and spiritual health, flourishing, and joy.

The "Slogans to Live By" and the "Worth a Try/Occasional" practices are recommended for everyone. Other practices aren't for everyone but might be for you. Here's a partial listing of possible spiritual practices:

using prayer beads
fasting
attending peace vigils
listening to music
serving on the congregation’s Board of Trustees
walking a labyrinthe
needlepoint
antiracism work
writing letters to the editor
painting
scuplting
cardio kickboxing
bath time with your kids
saying “hello” to cashiers and clerks
dancing
teaching RE
washing dishes
taking a bubble bath
chanting
camping
running
creating sacred space
tai chi
going to an art museum
surfing
making pottery
attending worship
caring for an ailing parent
writing haiku
playing an instrument
playing with children
yoga
hosting coffee hour
having dinner with friends
studying astronomy
quilting
knitting
cycling
recycling
singing in the choir
nature walks
going to a beach
cooking
martial arts
marching for social change
reciting mantras
e-mailing your governmental representatives
gardening
studying evolution

What Makes "Something I Do" into "A Spiritual Practice"?

Not every activity or pastime is a spiritual practice. The above activities might or might not be approached in a way that makes them a spiritual practice. It's a spiritual practice if it helps you cultivate spiritual development.

So how can you recognize spiritual development? Here are some symptoms of developing spirituality:

• increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen;
• more frequent attacks of smiling from the heart;
• more frequent feelings of being connected with others and nature;
• more frequent episodes of overwhelming appreciation;
• decisions flow more from intention or spontaneity and less from fears based on past experience;
• greater ability to enjoy each moment;
• decreased worrying;
• decreased interest in conflict, in interpreting the actions of others, in judging others, and in judging self;
• increased nonjudgmental curiosity;
• increased capacity to love without expecting anything in return;
• increased receptivity to kindness offered and increased interest in extending kindness to others.

Gardening or marching for social change or playing an instrument might or might not cultivate these symptoms. If you find that an activity helps you have more of these symptoms, then that activity is a spiritual practice for you.

An activity is more likely to work as spiritual practice if you follow these four guidelines:

1. engage the activity with mindfulness (see previous practice of the week, "cultivate mindfulness" HERE, and "be mindful" HERE).
2. engage in the activity with intention of thereby cultivating spiritual development. As you do the activity -- or just before and just after -- reflect on your intention to manifest those symptoms of spiritual development in your life.
3. engage the activity with a group that gathers expressly to do the activity in a way that cultivates spirituality. Group members share spiritual reflections before, during, or after doing the activity together.
4. establish a foundation of spiritual orientation through the three base practices: (a) daily meditation (SEE HERE), (b) daily journaling (SEE HERE), and (c) daily spiritual study (SEE HERE). Painting, running, or reciting a mantra -- or whatever spiritual practice you choose -- will work better as a spiritual practice if you lay this foundation with three base practices that prepare the way for experiencing other activities as spiritual.

Choose an activity and adopt it as your spiritual practice!

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

Assess the Strength of Your Inner Critic

Practice of the Week
Assess the Strength of Your Inner Critic

Category: WORTH A TRY, or OCCASIONAL, or MIGHT BE YOUR THING: The practices in this category are "worth a try" at least once. Some of them are daily practices, where giving them "a try" would mean doing them daily for a week. Others are one-time exercises to do and re-do quarterly or annually. Some practices in this category are great for responding to a particular need that may arise in your life. Others are simply enriching occasional enhancements to the spiritual life. Among these practices you may find the one particular practice that becomes your main and central spiritual practice -- or a Key Supporting Practice.

adapted from Hal Stone & Sidra Stone, Embracing Your Inner Critic

Your Inner Critic whispers, whines, and needles you into place. Ze checks your thoughts, controls your behavior, and inhibits actions. Ze thinks ze is protecting you from being disliked, hurt, or abandoned. Instead, your Inner Critic:

1. constricts your ability to be creative.
2. stops you from taking risks because ze makes you fear failure.
3. views your life as a series of mistakes waiting to happen.
4. undermines your courage to change.
5. compares you unfavorably with others and makes you feel "less than."
6. is constantly warning you not to look foolish.
7. is terrified of being shamed and so monitors all your behavior to avoid this.
8. causes you to suffer from low self-esteem, and possibly depression, because ze tells you that you are not good enough.
9. can make looking at yourself in a mirror or shopping for clothes miserable because of its ability to create such a negative view of the body.
10. can take all the fun out of life with zir criticisms.
11. makes self-improvement a compulsive chore because ze bases the work on the premise that something is wrong with you.
12. doesn't allow you to take in the good feelings that other people have toward you.
13. makes you susceptible, and often victim, to the judgments of other people.

How Strong Is Your Inner Critic?

Answer each of the following, 0-5:
0 = never, ever
1 = rarely
2 = between "rarely" and "occasionally"
3 = occasionally
4 = between "occasionally" and "frequently"
5 = frequently

_____ 1. I wake up at night worried about the mistakes that I made the day before.
_____ 2. I replay conversations after I've had them to see what I've done wrong.
_____ 3. I don't like the way my clothes look on me.
_____ 4. When I'm with other people, I wonder if they're critical me.
_____ 5. I'm cautious about trying anything new because I'm afraid of looking foolish.
_____ 6. I'm afraid people will laugh at me.
_____ 7. I worry about what other people think.
_____ 8. I feel inferior to other people.
_____ 9. I wish I had a more attractive body.
_____ 10. When I look in the mirror, I check to see what's wrong with me.
_____ 11. When I read over something I've just written, I'm not satisfied with it.
_____ 12. I'm afraid that there's something basically wrong with me.
_____ 13. I wonder what other people would think of me if they really knew what I was like underneath.
_____ 14. I compare myself with other people.
_____ 15. I seem to attract judgmental people.
_____ 16. I question my decisions after I have made them and think that I might have done better.
_____ 17. When I say 'No' I feel guilty.
_____ 18. When I take a test like this, I'm sure that I don't do as well as other people.
_____ 19. I avoid taking risks if I can help it.
_____ 20. When I think about self-improvement I feel that there is something wrong with me that needs to be fixed.

Add up your answers to these 20 questions.
Less than 45 = small Inner Critic
46-75 = medium-sized Inner Critic
76-100 = large and strong Inner Critic

Once you've assessed the strength of your Inner Critic, you may want to practice ways of distancing yourself from (i.e., shrinking) your Inner Critic. See the Practice of the Week, "Confront Your Negative Inner Voice" for some approaches to take to your Inner Critic.

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

Make Monthly Budgets

Practice of the Week
Make Monthly Budgets

Category: Supporting Practices: Observances that support and expand developing spirituality. They aren't "slogans to live by": they require setting aside some dedicated time. They aren't "occasional," but call for regular application. Nor are they merely "worth a try," since their value doesn't depend on whether you happen to have a taste for them.

Meredith Garmon

If spirituality is about anything, it’s about waking up and paying attention – noticing our own lives, for which the first step is noticing how often we aren’t noticing our own lives. Attention includes attention to money.

First, make a budget. If at your house, there is a precise monthly budget, and you keep track of every dollar spent and what budget category it falls under, then you are doing a wonderful spiritual practice of noticing your life and what it is for. Making a budget and knowing where and when you exceed it really is a deep spiritual practice of paying attention to your life.

The important point is to do two things at the end of every month: (1) compare your actual spending to what you budgeted for that month -- make note of which line items you stayed within and which ones you exceeded, and (2) make a budget for the next month. Whether or not you actually do stick to your budget might or might not be so important, depending on your financial situation. In some situations, making and keeping a budget is a crucial financial practice. Even if, for you, budgeting might not be a financial necessity, it is a spiritual practice of being mindful how your resources are deployed to do good to yourself and others. Awareness of which line items are consistently over or under budget presents you with the question: Do you want to adjust your budget or adjust your spending? Which adjustment will be most conducive to your and the world's flourishing? That's an important and a spiritual question for reflection -- a key question for living intentionally. But you can't begin to address that question until you're making a budget and comparing your spending to it.

Second, as you review at the end of each month how your actual spending compared to your budget for that month, take that opportunity to reflect on what your spending on yourself did for you that month. Every "outgo" (you know, the opposite of "in-come") that isn't saving or donating is spending on yourself (or your family). Then the question for each such expense is: "Is this really helping me/the family? What spending is helping me/us be happy, improving my/our overall well-being, and what really isn’t? Am I spending more than what’s doing me/us any good?"

Maybe your next budget can begin shifting some money out of the spending categories and into one of the two other categories: saving and giving. It’s amazing how willing human beings are to keep buying stuff that not only isn’t helping them be any happier, but is actually making them unhappy. Studies show that as we become less materialistic, our well-being improves, and that as our well-being improves we become less materialistic. It’s a spiritual practice of health and joy to intentionally assess whether the spending on yourself is helping – and how much of it is harmful habits that are only weighing you down. In particular, if that spending has been leading to debt, then it’s a double-killer: you carry the burden of the debt and of the materialism.

Third, as you draft each budget, think about whether it would work for you to give away more. What’s your money for? It’s for doing good in the world. Take care of yourself – which includes not spending on what you don’t need – and give away the rest. I like the website givewell.org for rating charities for maximum effectiveness for every dollar you give.

There are two categories of charity and social good organizations: (1) those that directly help people who are suffering, and (2) those that work for systemic change, reforming the systems that create suffering. Giving food to the hungry doesn’t address the need to change the system that leaves people hungry. At the same time, supporting systemic change so that eventually everyone will be able to feed themselves doesn’t feed any of the people who are hungry right now. So my suggestion would be dividing your charitable giving evenly between those two categories.

Fourth, for saving and giving, think in terms of percents. What percent of your total income can you save? What percent can you, or do you want to, give away? A good starter guideline is 10-10-80. Save 10 percent. Give away 10 percent. Live on the other 80 percent. 10-10-80.

Certainly at different phases of life, and at different income levels, those percentages need to be different. Maybe you can afford to be giving away 20 percent. Or 50 percent. Don’t be stuck on 10 percent giving if you have open to you the possibilities of giving away much higher percents. There is such amazing joy in that – don’t hold yourself back if you don’t need to.

Or maybe saving 10 percent is too much because your retirement is as set as it needs to be, and you have no debts, and your kids' inheritance is already as substantial as it needs to be. (A little inheritance is nice, but a big inheritance may take from your kids the benefits that come from facing tough challenges. Large inheritance doesn't, in fact, do the recipient any favors, though they may not know that at the time.) In some circumstances, saving 10 percent is too much. Don’t be stuck on that 10 percent either.

But as a beginning point for being intentional about who you are in the world, what your resources stand for, try 10-10-80. Try living into 10-10-80 for a year or so and then see what adjustments would be fulfilling, given your position.

Spirituality is a path – it’s a path of awareness and intentionality, of waking up to ourselves and what we are and what we’re doing instead of being pulled along by unexamined habits and impulses. Spirituality of money recognizes that what we do and are includes what we do and are with our resources.

Ariel Kiley writes:

Budgeting is a spiritual practice! A spiritual practice is one where you consciously choose to tune in to and follow the guidance of your higher self. When you are spending money unconsciously, you are following the whims of your unconscious urges, you are at the mercy of your ungrounded fantasies, your wounded ego or your victim mentality. By consciously tracking your spending, earnings and planning where you money is going to go to serve your highest values and callings in life, it become seriously spiritual.

Ariel -- a NYC-based yoga and meditation teacher -- has a created a series of videos about financial freedom that might be inspiring. Here are the links:
#1: The Decision to Get Out of Debt
#2: The Debt I've Been Dragging Around
#3: January 2018 Budget
#4: January Review
#5: February 2018 Budget
#6: February Review

For list of all weekly practices: "Practices of the Week Index"

Simplify

Practice of the Week
Simplify

“Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed at such desperate enterprises?” (Henry David Thoreau)

“Millions of Americans have lost control over the basic rhythm of their daily lives. They work too much, eat too quickly, socialize too little, drive and sit in traffic for too many hours, don’t get enough sleep, and feel harried too much of the time. The details of time scarcity are different across socioeconomic groups, but as a culture we have a shared experience of temporal impoverishment.” (Juliet Schor)

“Evidence that longer hours of work are associated with lower happiness is accumulating, as is the more general point that how people spend their time is strongly related to well-being. In a series of studies, the psychologists Tim Kasser and Kennon Sheldon found that being time-affluent is positively associated with well-being, even controlling for income. In some of their studies, time trumped material goods in importance. Kasser and Kirk Brown found that working hours are negatively correlated with life satisfaction.” (Juliet Schor)

“To live voluntarily means encountering life more consciously. To live more simply is to encounter life more directly.” (Duane Elgin)

“In a trend that shows no sign of reversing, American workers are reporting higher levels of stress.” (Risk & Insurance, 2015 Jan.)

“Maybe we could give up saving the world and start to live savingly on it.” (Wendell Berry)

Slow down. Simplify. De-clutter. Let drop some of those balls you’re juggling.

Modern society affords us more and more devices and "conveniences." Robotics and automation do more and more of our manufacturing for us – and, indeed, more and more of our farming. Restaurants and prepared packaged food items do more and more of our cooking for us. And somehow we are busier than ever. Freed from what we used to do, the labor force shifted away from industry and agriculture and into the service sector. We work frenetically in order to pay for our conveniences and each other’s services.

Our lives are complicated. E-mails, phone calls, working long hours. Carrying the kids to music lessons, soccer practice, play dates or scouts – church. It’s a fast culture and just trying to match the velocity of others makes life hectic.

Do you sometimes feel like a short-order cook at the lunch rush? It’s fine to rev up every once in a while, but constant rushing is stressful. Stress weakens the immune system. It wears down your mood. When you’re living in a rush, you worry more, find more things to get irritated about. You don’t think so clearly, and make worse decisions. Americans are the most stressed people in history, and since stress can trigger depression, it’s no coincidence that we’re the most depressed people in history.

Economist Richard Layard found that across the globe, the average happiness score of a country stops rising when its per capita income reaches $26,000 in today’s dollars.

Longer hours also increase your environmental impact “both because of more production and because time-stressed households have higher-impact lifestyles.” (Schor) Time-stressed households don’t cook as often. On average, they rely more on pre-prepared packaged food, and eat at restaurants. Ready-made packaged foods involve a lot more CO2 production than foods you prepare yourself. And restaurants? One study found that an hour of restaurant eating uses 11 kilowatt-hours of energy, while an hour of eating at home (including all travel for food purchasing, gas or electricity for cooking, and so forth) uses only 7.4.That means, eating out uses just shy of 50 percent more energy than eating at home.

People report that do-it-yourself activity is highly satisfying: they learn new skills, and it’s an outlet for creativity. Sometimes these newfound skills and passions lead to start-up businesses that are small, local, and green. Or they lead to trading and sharing through local networks that strengthen community ties and social capital – which enhances well-being and security. Less paid work, less stress, and less consumption means more time for family, friends, community, and rewarding labor of crafts or garden or do-it-yourself activity – and a more satisfying life.

"Simplicity" has a number of overlapping aspects:
(a) Reducing the hectic pace of life. Slowing down. Working less and reducing the demands on our time. Taking time for family, friends, sunsets, etc.
(b) Reducing consumption and the reliance on exploited labor, resource depletion, and environmental harm to support our lifestyle.
(c) Reducing the clutter of stuff. Making our home and workplace surroundings neat and spare.
(d) Paring away things that are merely distractions from the kind of life that we want to live. Avoiding technological "conveniences" that mostly make convenient activities that disconnect us from family, community, or the Earth.
(e) Enhancing self-reliance and reduced consumption through self-provisioning activities. Examples of self-provisioning include doing our own cooking, gardening, canning, sewing or knitting clothes, taking the time to hang clothes on the line instead of using the dryer.

This week: Reflect on the five overlapping aspects of simplicity. Select two of the five, and make a plan to implement them in your life.

* * *

For Journaling

Reflect on: what could you do to slow down the pace of your life? How could you reduce consumption? What de-cluttering would be possible for you? What devices do you have that you could do without? (What things do they allow you to do that you'd be better off not doing?) What self-provisioning activities could you take up?

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

Identify Your Emotions

Practice of the Week
Identify Your Emotions

Like, every time. Emotions are constantly being triggered, many times a day. You can let them carry you away. You can be in denial that they are there. Try, instead, stopping and identifying what the emotion is. The spiritual benefits of this practice led the Dalai Lama and Paul Eckman to team up to create atlasofemotions.com.

CALMNESS. Emotions constantly arise when triggered and then recede. Calmness is not itself an emotion, but the capacity to evaluate, and understand each emotion as it occurs. Without a baseline calmness, your emotions are “in control” and may “run away with” you -- or they are suppressed, which means they're operating in the background, manifesting at times and in ways that can seem random and surprising. Practicing at identifying your emotions cultivates calmness for understanding and responding effectively to your emotions.

This is a practice of continual self-monitoring. Whenever an emotion comes up, identify it. Say its name, using the following scheme of five basic emotions -- each with a number of variations.

THE FIVE BASIC EMOTIONS: sadness, anger, enjoyment, fear, disgust

Sadness: We’re saddened by loss.
S1. Disappointment: A feeling that expectations are not being met
S2. Discouragement: A feeling that there is no way to cope
S3. Distraughtness: Agitated sadness
S4. Resignation: Acceptance that nothing can be done
S5. Helplessness: Realization of the inability to prevent or cope with loss
S6. Hopelessness: A feeling that nothing good is to come
S7. Misery: Anguished sadness, usually prolonged
S8. Despair: Resigned anguish
S9. Grief: Anguished sadness over the loss of a loved one
S10. Sorrow: Sadness over a loss.
S11. Anguish: Intense agitated sadness

Actions that may be driven by sadness:
Seek comfort: seek help or support from others. Generally enables collaboration.
Mourn: focus on the loss. May either enable or inhibit collaboration
Protest: complain about the loss, knowing the complaint will not recover what was lost. May either enable or inhibit collaboration.
Ruminate: repetitively think about the emotional experience. Generally inhibits collaboration.
Withdraw: physically or mentally leave the scene of what is triggering the sadness. Generally inhibits collaboration.

Anger: We’re angered by interference.
A1. Annoyance: Very mild anger.
A2. Frustration: Response to failure to overcome an obstacle despite repeated attempts.
A3.Exasperation: A loss of patience at repeated failures to settle a problem.
A4. Argumentativeness: An inclination to prolong disagreements.
A5. Bitterness: Disappointment that no one wanted to settle a problem.
A6. Vengefulness: A desire for retaliation.
A7. Fury: Intense anger.

Actions that may be driven by anger:
Dispute: Disagree in a manner that may escalate the dispute.
Be passive-aggressive: Take indirect actions that have an angry undercurrent.
Insult: Disparage the other person in an offensive or hurtful way that is likely to escalate the conflict rather than resolve it.
Quarrel: Verbally oppose in a manner intended to escalate the disagreement.
Scream/Yell: Lose control of how one speaks; yell = speak loudly; scream = yell + high pitch.
Simmer/Brood: Act in a way that makes clear that angry actions are building or being contemplated.
Suppress: Try to avoid feeling or acting upon the emotion that is being experienced.
Use physical force: Harm or constrain someone; an action that may be deliberately chosen or the result of loss of control over how one acts.
Undermine: Take action to make someone or something weaker or less effective, usually in a secret or gradual way.

Enjoyment: We enjoy what feels good.
E1. Sensory Pleasure: Enjoyment derived through one of the five physical senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, smell.
E2. Rejoicing. A warm, uplifting feeling that people experience when they see acts of human goodness, kindness, and compassion. Also called elevation.
E3. Compassion/Joy: Enjoyment felt when you act to relieve another person’s suffering.
E4. Amusement: Light playful feelings of enjoyment and good humor.
E5. Schadenfreude. Enjoyment of the misfortune of another person, usually a rival.
E6. Relief: When something expected to be unpleasant, especially the threat of harm, is avoided or comes to an end.
E7. Pride: A desire for others to know the pleasure you feel in your own accomplishments or the accomplishments of someone either you nurtured directly or with whom you identify.
E8. Fiero (Italian): The enjoyment felt when you have met a challenge that stretched your capabilities.
E9. Naches (Yiddish): Feelings of pride in the accomplishments, or sometimes just the existence, of your offspring or mentees. Crucial for motivating the nurture of infants and children.
E10. Wonder: An experience of something that is very surprising, beautiful, amazing, or hard to believe.
E11. Excitement: Energy that unlike other enjoyable emotions is rarely felt slightly, but ranges from mid to high in intensity. May merge with any of the emotions generating a very active form of that emotion.
E12. Ecstasy: Rapturous delight. A state of very great happiness, nearly overwhelming.

Actions that may be driven by enjoyment:
Maintain: Continue to do what is necessary to continue the enjoyable feelings. Generally, enables collaboration.
Savor: Relish the experience of good feelings about physical and psychological experiences. Generally enables collaboration.
Indulge: Excessively engage in the enjoyable feelings. May enable or inhibit collaboration.

Fear: We’re afraid of danger.
F1. Trepidation: Anticipation of the possibility of danger.
F2. Nervousness: Uncertainty as to whether there is a danger.
F3. Anxiety: Inability to cope with an anticipated or actual threat.
F4. Dread: Anticipation of severe danger.
F5. Desperation: A response to the inability to reduce danger.
F6. Panic: A consequence of desperation.
F7. Horror: A mixture of fear and disgust.
F8. Terror: Maximum fear.

Actions that may be driven by fear:
Avoid: Physically stay, or internally keep one’s mind, away from what is triggering the fear.
Freeze: Become incapable of acting or speaking.
Hesitate: Hold back in doubt or indecision, often momentarily
Ruminate: Repetitively think about the emotional experience.
Scream/Yell: Lose control of how one speaks; yell = speak loudly; scream = yell + high pitch
Withdraw: Physically or mentally leave the scene of the threat
Worry: Anticipate the possibility of harm

Disgust: We’re disgusted by anything toxic.
D1. Dislike: The mildest form of disgust.
D2. Aversion: A desire to avoid something disgusting.
D3. Distaste: Response to a bad taste or smell; can also be metaphorical.
D4. Repugnance: Repulsion to something literally or figuratively toxic.
D5. Revulsion: Very intense disgust.
D6. Abhorrence: Extreme repulsion.
D7. Loathing: Intense disgust focused on a person.

Actions that may be driven by disgust:
Avoid: Physically stay, or internally keep one’s mind, away from what is triggering the disgust.
Dehumanize: Deprive someone of human qualities, personality, or spirit
Vomit: Expel contents of stomach through mouth
Withdraw: Physically or mentally leave the scene of what is triggering the disgust

Using the above list as your guide (print out the one-page PDF synopsis HERE), practice taking moments throughout the day to investigate and name what you are feeling right at that moment!

* * *
For list of all weekly practices: "Practices of the Week Index"

Gratitude for the Sources of Your Resistance

Practice of the Week
Give Thanks to the Someone for Your Resistance

First, in your life, what have you resisted that you're now glad or proud you resisted?

• bad advice about how you should live your life
• social or peer pressures to do or be what wasn't right (at least not for you)
• a stultifying pattern, job, or relationship
• a social injustice

Second, recall some particular person or people who made resistance possible for you. Someone

• stood beside you as you stood against the status quo
• helped remind you that the arc really can be bent
• invited you into a vision of an entirely new day
• made you feel like a one of a kind rather than a misfit
• helped you resist the pressures to follow the herd
• picked you up for the protests
• taught the class that opened your eyes
• wrote the poem that inspired you
• made a sacrifice that moved your heart
• showed courage that rubbed off on you
• told you that you were precious
• made you feel like you weren’t in the fight alone

Thank them! That’s it. This week's practice is to find a way to thank them and tell them how they made your resistance possible. Let them know what a gift it was.

By expressing gratitude for the help we had in past resistance, we prepare the way for further resistance:

• against new pressures that aren't right, 
• against deadening patterns that remain or recur
• at a higher level against social injustice.
• to help others find the strength to resist what needs resisting

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX

Surrender

Practice of the Week
Surrender

A saying from the theist traditions:

“Let go and let God.”

Some of us are more comfortable with the phrase than others. But all of us -- theist, atheist or somewhere in between -- benefit from letting go of the idea that we can do it all on our own.

The famous third step of Alcoholics Anonymous is

“[we] make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.”

Or trust in the universe. Surrender to an order of things that you did not make. As Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata" tells us:

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Things do hold together, and the forces that hold things together carry us along as well. It is as if the laws of nature were themselves a Love that will not let us go.

"Let tomorrow come tomorrow. Not by your will is the house carried through the night." (Wendell Berry)

Can you surrender? Let go of the impulse to try to control? Let things happen instead of trying to make them happen? Harmonize with the music around you instead of trying to direct it?

This week's practice is to stretch your capacity to surrender -- to take joy in the grace that is given, unearned and undeserved.

Part 1. Meditate on this video. Watch and listen to it numerous times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_7XIKVgRGY

Thank you for your mercy.
Would've been lost if you hadn't seen me.
You've brought me to the end of myself.
This has been the longest road.
Just when my hallelujah was tired,
You gave me a new song.
I'm letting go. I'm letting go.
I'm letting go -- Falling into You.
I confess I still get scared sometimes,
But perfect love comes rushing in,
And all the lies screamed inside go silent
The moment You begin.
Now I'm letting go. I'm letting go.
I'm letting go -- Falling into You.
You remind me of things forgotten.
You unwind me until I'm totally undone.
And with Your arms around me, fear was no match for Your love
Now You've won me.
With your arms around me, I can let it all go.
You're the safest place to let it all go.
Now I'm letting go. I'm letting go.
I'm letting go -- Falling into You.

Part 2. Let the song take you where you need to go. If the musician’s theist perspective speaks to you, lean into it and let it take you deeper than you could on your own. If it doesn’t resonate with your theological stance, work with and translate it until you make a connection in your own unique way. Surrender may ultimately be more a matter of feeling our way into it than thinking our way into it. Let this video offer you that gift.

Part 3. Journal about what comes up for you through this exercise. What new feeling arises about where your journey is calling you to go? What are you called to do next?

* * *
Previous Practice of the Week: "Letting Go of White-Centeredness"
For list of all weekly practices: "Practices of the Week Index"

Letting Go of White-Centeredness

Practice of the Week
Let Go of White-Centeredness

Letting go is ultimately about letting in. Multicultural competence is also about letting in: making more room for the perspective and experience of others.

This is complicated -- often painfully complex. Finding ways to de-center whites is a challenge for both whites and people of color. For instance, even the act of raising awareness of white privilege can unintentionally marginalize the perspectives and experience of people of color. For part 1 of this practice, consider this issue as explained by activist Austin Channing:

"White Privilege Weariness"
by Austin Channing

I am standing in the infamous white privilege line. Our class has answered all the activity's questions one by one. As usual the White participants are grouped at one end of the room, the Black and Latino participants at the other end. In between stands a handful of Asian participants. The facilitator asks a series of questions, mostly directed at the group of White participants. Their conversation continues... and continues... and continues. After a few minutes, I notice all of our bodies have naturally turned to reinforce the focus of the conversation between the White participants. The people of color form a quiet outer circle, glancing at each other as the conversation continues largely without us. One of the young women next to me raises her hand; she is too far away to be noticed. Remaining unseen, she gives up. As she lowers her hand, I suddenly become very weary.

Let me pause here to note that this is not a critique of the facilitator nor the activity. I myself have led the white privilege conversation more times than I can count. I've led it. I've chosen it. I've started and ended classes with it. I've done it with young people and elderly people. I've done it when the racial mix is huge and when I'm the only person of color in the room. I am quite sure I have facilitated the resulting conversation well some days but from a place of hurt and bitterness on others. My weariness is not from being tired at the activity itself.

My weariness is rooted in realizing how often starting the race conversation with white privilege automatically centers the experience of white folks. On the day mentioned above, I so clearly saw how focusing on white privilege filled the space. There was no room left for the stories, the experiences, the realities of people of color except in service to the education of white folks. We almost served as more of a comparative study than live humans standing on the opposite side of the room.

How often have you been in a room where the feelings of white people take priority? Do they feel guilt or shame? Are we making them feel guilt or shame? How uncomfortable are they? Is the room safe for them? Do they get it? In the natural occurrence of asking these questions, people of color have a tendency to become background music to the story being created for white people. As a result people of color must manage their own expectations, emotions, language, questions, frustrations. I think the trauma of racism (and recalling it during these sessions) is severely underestimated. It is such work, such risk for people of color to enter spaces created with the purpose of serving white people.

So here's what I've been contemplating. Is it possible for us to talk about race, even white privilege, without making white people the center? I wonder if it's possible to bring the narratives of people of color to the center, to hold them for their own sake. I'm trying to recall if I have ever experienced a workshop/training that sought healing for people of color rather than education for white people. Isn't it weird that white people would experience such privilege even when trying to make them aware of that same privilege? One day I would like to try hosting a workshop where people of color tell their stories, and thats it. Period.

Where people of color talk, vent, laugh, cry and affirm one another's racial realities.

Where white people don't talk, don't justify, don't question.

Where white people are given different rules that require seeking permission to participate.

Where white people are expected to connect the dots themselves, to own their learning, to manage their emotions.

I wonder if white privilege could be taught by eliminating even the small privileges/rules that typically serve white folks well in a classroom setting.

This is not an exercise intended to be mean or to make white people feel awful. Nor is it an exercise to minimize the stories and experiences of white people. I just want to spend a little more time asking myself what it would be like for the priority to be reversed. Rather than judging the success of my training on whether or not white people walked away understanding privilege; could I define success based on the emotional energy of people of color after the training is done? Could I so center the experience of people of color that they walk away feeling some measure of healing, of energy, of understanding about themselves and each other? Could they leave more alive then when they came?

I often lead with conversations on white privilege because I work with predominately white institutions. It kinda feels obvious. However, I am beginning to believe that this reality makes it even more important that I not center whiteness. It's possible that my little training or class will be the only space when people of color are at the center simply because their stories are important- not so that white people can have an "aha" moment- but because people of color need to speak their truth. My weariness of white privilege is creating an energy source within for new ways of training, of leading, of being. I'm kinda excited about it.

* * *

Part 2: Discuss Channing's points with friends and fellow parishioners. (To see Channing's post, along with various comments from readers, CLICK HERE.) Whether you are white or a person of color, how have you experienced the phenomenon Channing describes?

Part 3: As you engage in the racial justice work or consciousness-awareness efforts of your church community, keep an eye out for the dynamic that Channing names.

Part 4: Find a way to challenge that dynamic. It's not a simple or easy thing to do. Reflect also on how the ways available for challenging that dynamic would or wouldn't differ for whites and for people of color.

Part 5: In your journal, reflect about your learnings, slips, recoveries and best efforts.

* * *
Previous Practice of the Week: "Spiritualize One Space In Your Life"
For list of all weekly practices: "Practices of the Week Index"

Spiritualize One Space in Your Life

Practice of the Week
Spiritualize One Space in Your Life

Whether or not you'd agree that "cleanliness is next to Godliness," the spaces we inhabit do have spiritual significance. Uncluttered space makes our spirits more at ease, more ready for joy.

While spiritual growth involves accepting things exactly as they are -- loving what is -- it also, at the same time, orients our attention and action toward what is most needful in human life: justice, for one; beauty, for another. Spiritual deepening includes increased appreciation for beauty and simplicity, and an increased interest in facilitating the creation of simple beauty. Decluttering is a spiritual exercise in attending to simple beauty in the space where you spend a lot of your life.

Marie Kondo's international bestseller, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, offers a way to see cleaning up clutter in a new light. It’s not about eliminating mess; it’s about letting in joy and creating space in which our spirits can breathe.

Kondo challenges us: “Anything that doesn’t 'spark joy' is to be touched, thanked, and ceremonially sent on its way!”

Read the article about her book (and maybe read the book as well!): Top Tips to Joyfully Declutter Your Home, from Marie Kondo

Then:

• Pick one “space” in your life and declutter it in the way Kondo recommends. This space can be something as big as a living room or as small as a desk drawer or the back seat of your car.
• Take before-and-after pictures.

In your journal, write about what it was like to thank and send the clutter on its way. What was it like to have one space full of the things that “spark joy” and prop you up?

Before

After

* * *
For list of all weekly practices: "Spiritual Practice Directory"

Engage Transformative Possibility

Practice of the Week
Engage Transformative Possibility

Trapeze artists must let go of the bar to which they are holding, allow themselves to enter the space of holding to nothing while flying toward the new bar. Is there a new bar swinging your way? What is it? What will you have to let go of in order to fly to the new bar?

Is life calling you to let go and leap into something entirely new?

This week's exercise is reflection and discernment on that question.

How

Set aside reflective time. Use the six-minute video below as a meditation. Don’t rush it. Watch it three days in a row or multiple times over two weeks. Linger with the questions it asks: What new trapeze bar has your name on it? What is your next new story? What is the new aliveness coming to get you? Are you ready to jump? Are you ready to honor and savor the transition zone? And see it as the space of real living?

For Journaling

Write your thoughts about possible answers to these questions.

* * *
Previous Practice of the Week: "Let Go"
For list of all weekly practices: "Practices of the Week Index"

Spiritual Reading

Practice of the Week
Spiritual Reading

For a somewhat different approach, see "Sacred Reading"

Sacred reading is a very different way of reading than you are probably used to. It's a very slow approach to about one or two paragraphs a day -- reading not so much for what the text means, in the usual way, as for what it suggests for your life, right where you are, at that particular moment.

Begin by choosing a text for the day. The Bible's book of Psalms, the verses of the Dao De Jing or the Bhagavad Gita are wonderful. You might want to utilize the poems of Mary Oliver, or Walt Whitman, or the poems from such anthologies as The Soul is Here for Its Own Joy (Bly) or A Book of Luminous Things (Milosz) -- or just google "spiritual poetry anthology" for titles. You might want to use the prose essays of a favorite wisdom writer -- progressing through the essay one or two paragraphs at a time.

These instructions are adapted from those at onespiritinterfaith.org.

1. Enter into Sacred Time
Take a few minutes to quiet and center yourself. You may want to mark the beginning of your practice as sacred time by lighting a candle, ringing a meditation chime, taking a few deep mindful breaths, or offering a simple gesture of reverence such as placing your hand gently on your heart and bowing your head. Take a moment to recognize that this time of practice is not only for your own benefit, but also for the benefit of those whose lives you touch, directly or indirectly – even for the benefit, in some way you may never know, of the whole of life itself.

2. Read
Read the day’s passage slowly and receptively several times, silently or, if possible, aloud.

3. Reflect
Notice which word or phrase captures your attention. Take some time to reflect on the meaning that word or phrase has for you at this particular time, what it evokes in you, what questions or challenges or insights it raises for your life right now. You may want to jot the word or phrase down in a journal or on a card to carry with you as a reminder through your day.

4. Respond
Once you have reflected deeply on what Spirit, or life, or your intuition is saying to you today through this word or phrase, allow yourself to respond. This may be as simple as an inner “thank you” or an intention to express the wisdom you have gleaned in your life today. Or you may feel a need to pour out feelings that have been stirred in your time of reflection. Do not censor yourself but, like the psalmists of old, let yourself express whatever has arisen in you – whether gratitude, wonder, hope, joy, or anger, grief, shame or fear. Express your response however you are moved to: speak it, write it, pray it, dance it, draw it, sing it. Ask yourself (Spirit/life/the universe), for further illumination or guidance, for strength or courage to translate what you have discovered into action in your life. Open yourself to feeling fully listened to and heard by yourself/Spirit/life/the universe.

5. Rest and Receive
Now allow yourself to enter a time of stillness and silence – a time of letting go, of releasing agendas and control, and of simply resting in and with Spirit. Don’t look for any particular kind of experience during this time; simply surrender and offer yourself to life, trusting that whatever transformation and healing you need is being done in and for and through you as you rest and allow. Try to spend at least 5 minutes in this receptive silence, more if possible.

6. Return and Re-enter
Gently return your awareness to your physical surroundings and prepare to re-enter your daily life in the world. Spend a moment in gratitude for whatever you have received in this time of practice, and for the blessings in your life. You may want to end your time of practice with this affirmation and breath-prayer, based on words of Dag Hammarkjöld.

“For all that has been – thanks! For all that will be – yes!”

Breathing in: “Thanks”
Breathing out: “Yes”
(repeat)

* * *

PRACTICES INDEX