Minister's Post, Fri Jun 9

Dear Ones:

My ministry at Community Unitarian Universalist Congregation at White Plains is drawing to a close. I have sadness about departing, but also confident hope as you carry forward the beautiful work of this congregation: to grow your souls in community and serve the world in love.

Our UUA (Unitarian Universalist Association), as well as the the UUMA (Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association) offer clear guidelines about leaving. I know that I will continue to serve you best, going forward, by stepping back entirely from contact with members and friends of the congregation. You have a wonderful ministry team in place for 2023-24, as Creighton Cray and Nicole Turygin communicated earlier today (Fri Jun 9):

• Rev. Kimberley Debus will preach twice per month and provide support for the structure of the year, support our journey groups, write for the e-Communitarian, and more.
• Rev. Paul Langston-Daley will be present one Sunday per month to preach and to also lead a workshop, forum, or other community activity.
• Rev. Deb Morra will lead our Pastoral Care Program.
• Rev. Patience Stoddard will provide consulting support to the Board of Trustees

As this team steps into place, and later, when you call a settled minister, they will have the assurance that my care for you is deep enough that I will respect the collegial and professional boundary.

I do grieve the ending of the special relationship we have had, yet I also have gratitude and joy, as I think of the life of your congregation flowing like a mighty river, from its sources in 1907 through years and years to come. I will carry you in my heart, with love.

May compassion, trust and courage sojourn with us as we part. My prayer for you is one I have often repeated: may we be a people who delight in what is good, who confront what is cruel, and who heal what is broken. And may the joy you find in supporting each other in your callings to be people of liberal faith grow ever deeper.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The June 4 service, "Shadow":



The May 28 service, "Astrotheology":



Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#162: The The Way

This is Copperhead's first and only appearance in the annals of the Tallspruce Zen Center.

"Right Livelihood" is one of the components of the Eightfold Path of Buddhism. For the monks, this originally meant living from begging, but not accepting everything, and not possessing more than was strictly necessary. For lay Buddhists, it means avoiding any livelihood that causes suffering to sentient beings by cheating them, or harming or killing them in any way. Right livelihood does not trade in weapons, living beings, meat, alcoholic drink or poison.

The way does tend to orient those who find or seek it. Perhaps Copperhead's interest in the Way will orient her to seek creative modifications in her livelihood. Maybe not. The way, as Raven says, does not depend on that.

From your point of view, and mine, the presence of copperheads is an essential part of our path. In the unfolding wholeness of the universe, there is an essential role played by the people and beings we think of as evil and harmful -- Hitler, tsetse flies, Pol Pot, coronavirus, Jeffrey Dahmer, bed bugs. From Copperhead's point of view, as a snake interested in the Way, the possibilities of transformation are an open question.

Case

Copperhead came by one evening unannounced. Mole made himself scarce, and Owl, Woodpecker, and Grouse set up a clatter.
Copperhead said, "Excuse me, everybody. I came for the Great Law, not for my dinner."
The birds quieted down, but Mole did not return.
Raven asked, "Do you have a question?"
"Yes," said Copperhead. "I'm really interested in the Way, but I don't seem to have the right livelihood for it."
Raven said, "The Way does not depend on your livelihood."
Copperhead asked, "What is the Way?"
Raven said, "We'd be totally lost without you."

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Minister's Post, Fri Jun 2

Dear Ones:

Here's a parable about congregational life from the great Universalist minister, Rev. Clinton Lee Scott:

"Now it came to pass that while the elder in Israel tarried in Babylon, a message came to him from a distant city saying, come thou and counsel with us. Help us to search out a priest for the one that has served us has gone mad. And the elder in Israel arose and journeyed to that distant city. And when the men of affairs were assembled, the elder spake unto them saying, what manner of man seeketh thee to be your new priest? And they answered and said unto him, we seek a young man yet with the wisdom of gray hairs. One that speaketh his mind freely yet giveth offense to no one. That draweth the multitude to the temple on the Sabbath but will not be displeased when we ourselves are absent. We desire one who has a gay mood yet is of sober mind. That seeketh out dark sayings and prophecies yet speaketh not over our heads. That filleth the temple, buildeth it up, yet defileth not the sanctuary with a Motley assortment of strangers. We seeketh one that puts the instruction of the young first but requireth not that we become teachers. That causeth the treasury to prosper yet asketh not that we give more of our substance. Verily we seek a prophet that will be unto us a leader but will not seek to change us, for we like not to be disturbed."

I first shared this parable with CUC (with just one U -- as we were then known), in my first appearance in your pulpit: 2013 Apr 28. I was then the candidate to be your minister. I wanted you to understand that, while I am, in fact, perfect (I am perfectly me, just as you are perfectly you), as your minister, I would not be simultaneously exhibiting contradictory qualities.

No one can simultaneously exhibit contradictory qualities. I wanted you to have that in mind 10 years ago as you considered whether to call me as your minister. And I want to remind you of this now, as you begin the process of considering who your next settled minister will be. One cannot have both youthful exuberance and long years of experience at the same time. Nor can one be both free-speaking and smoothly diplomatic, or any of the other dichotomies Rev. Scott named. Your new minister will have some gifts. Just remember that the condition for having a gift is that certain other gifts are precluded.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The May 28 service, "Astrotheology":



The May 21 service, "Transitions":



Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#161: The Poem

The poem about your practice is immediately visible to the whole world. No need to recite it. You already have and are.

Case

Wolverine approached Raven after a meeting had broken up and said, "I've composed a poem about my practice. Do you want to hear it?"
Raven said, "No."
Wolverine said, "I'm going to recite it anyway."
Raven gave a croak and flew up into the Assembly Oak.
Next day, Mole told Porcupine about this, and said, "I thought Roshi was pretty rude to Wolverine. Why did she make such a point of not wanting to hear his poem?"
Porcupine said, "She already knew it by heart."

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Minister's Post, Fri May 19

Dear Ones:

What I want to share with you today are these words of Jaya Rudgard:

"We have a very strong tendency to view joy as something that either happens to us by chance in lucky moments or as something that we have to deserve, that we get as the fruit, the reward, of good behavior or skillful cultivation. We can reframe that to think of joy as something we can offer as a gift to the world, offer as a gift through our lives."

Our joy is realized (in the double sense that [a] joy is made real, and [b] we become aware of joy) by giving joy to others.
Joy is always there, but invisible, unless and until shared. You can't see it until you manifest it -- and you manifest it by spreading it to others.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The May 14 service, "Happiness":



The May 7 service, "Commensalisty":



PRACTICE POINTER

It’s time again for our Ecospiritual practice for this month – adapted from Rebecca James Hecking and brought to you by Community UU’s Environmental Practices Social Justice Team: Widening Our Circle.

We are all interconnected more closely than we generally assume, and so are the Earth’s ecosystems. What we do to one part of the Earth, we do to the entire Earth – and What we do to the Earth, we do to ourselves.

A man orders a burger. The burger, shipped from South America, came from a cow raised on land that was formerly part of the Amazon rainforest, now burned and cleared for grazing.

An empty plastic bag floats across a parking lot -- and ends up floating in the middle of the Pacific six months later.

There are also positive connections:

A woman purchases a bag of fair-trade coffee at her local co-op. Somewhere in Sumatra a father buys school books for his children with money earned from his small family coffee plantation.

A teenager, after learning of the crisis in the rainforest, decides to skip the trip to the burger place and packs a vegetarian lunch instead.

A couple serves locally grown food at their wedding reception, supporting the farmers of their foodshed in the process.

The great challenge is identifying implications of our choices, and changing the way we relate to the world based on what we learn.

Ecospiritual practices for this month include: Degrees of Gratitude: being grateful for the many Earth systems that sustain you – Mindful Choices: Journal specifically about your consumer choices – and a “How Wide is your circle?” exercise.

For details on these, as well as group activities for your Ecospiritual group, see the post: Widening Our Circle.

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#159: The Ancestors

This is Gray Wolf's seventh appearance. She first appeared in #22, where she asked for an explanation of karma. Then, in #59, she didn't think the enlightenment of bushes and grasses was likely. In #75, she asked how she could save the many beings. In #103, she remarked that the goal of practice seemed to be more practice. In #140, Gray Wolf asked, "Why do we always do everything in exactly the same way?" In #144, she said it seemed undignified to bow before the Buddha. Gray Wolf was also mentioned in #120, when Owl said she still didn't know what to make of Brown Bear's answer to Gray Wolf back in #59.

"Dream" may refer to a delusion, or to a hope. Perhaps Raven is referring to the delusion of separation -- the human delusion of being separate from other animals. Or perhaps she's referring to the hope of a more aware and attentive way of living. Which do you say she means? In either case, there's no answering for it.

Case

One evening Gray Wolf Came by after a long absence and asked, "Are the old masters of the past really our own ancestors?"
Raven said, "Most certainly."
Gray Wolf said, "But it seems that they were folks who wore clothes."
Raven said, "I can't answer for the dream."

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Minister's Post, Fri May 12

Dear Ones:

"Doomscrolling"? I recently learned this term. The National Institutes of Health's website says "doomscrolling" is "commonly defined as a habit of scrolling through social media and news feeds where users obsessively seek for depressing and negative information."

Sounds like a terrible idea. Still, I can see how one might get sucked into it. Bad news has a way of attracting our attention -- it sells newspapers and is the major driver of social media.

It would be better to limit exposure to such news, and, in particular, to social meadia. Emma Varvaloucas explains, "If you continually focus on everything that’s going wrong, all you’re going to do is gather more evidence for why that’s correct. And then when you do encounter something that actually might be more neutral or even good, it doesn’t even enter your awareness."

If you find yourself doomscrolling, investigate how it happened: what sucked you in? what is it that pulls you further and further along the "scroll"? Then turn away and pay attention to something good!

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The May 7 service, "Commensalisty":



The Apr 30 service, "The Transformative Power of Unitarian Universalism":



PRACTICE POINTER

From Martin Seligman: The What-Went-Well Exercise. Sometimes it makes sense to analyze bad events so you can learn from them and avoid them in the future. However, we tend to spend more time thinking about what is bad in life than is helpful. Worse, this focus on negative events sets us up for anxiety and depression. So get better at thinking about and savoring what went well.

Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well. Here are the keys:

One: identify three things that went well – three happy moments – three positive events in your day.They need not be earthshaking in importance ("My spouse picked up my favorite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today"), but they can be important ("A new and healthy baby was born to my sibling today.”)

Two: identify a cause. For each of your three items, answer the question, "Why did this happen?" For the ice cream, it could be: "because my spouse is really thoughtful sometimes" or maybe it was "because I remembered to call and remind them to stop by the grocery store." For the new baby, it could be: “because the new parents did everything right during the pregnancy,” or maybe you’d say, “because the fates were looking out for them.”

Three: it needs to be written down. Use a journal or use your computer but it is important that you have a record of the three things that went well – and your assessment of one basic cause of each event.

Commit now to doing this for one week. After one week, you may find you feel like continuing to do it every night.

See the full post: The What-Went-Well Exercise.

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#158: Uphill

Practice does mean a change in habits, and in the very way of habit formation. So it can feel like going against the grain. On the other hand, where your habit has been to go against the grain, practice may feel like learning to go with the flow. First you have to discern the flow.

Case

Wolverine asked, "Do you practice going with the flow?"
Raven asked, "Is that a practice?"
Wolverine asked, "What is practice?"
Raven said, "Going against the grain."
Wolverine asked, "Sounds hard."
Raven said, "Uphill."

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Minister's Post, Fri May 5

Dear Ones:

"Know thyself." This Ancient Greek aphorism is supposedly the first of three inscribed at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi (along with "nothing in excess" and "a pledge brings trouble"). It's not entirely clear what the Greeks meant. Many of us take it to be a mandate to plumb the soul, but Meghan O’Gieblyn disagrees. She says, "The command of the Delphic oracle — “Know thyself” — was not a mandate to plumb the soul but rather to accept the role that nature had assigned you" (Paris Review, 2021 May 13). Maybe the aphorism is telling us to know our place, stay in it, and don't get "uppity" -- or, for that matter, "downity" or even "sidewaysity."

Maybe O'Gieblyn is right about what the Ancient Greeks meant, but, if she is, so much the worse for the Ancient Greeks. I prefer to understand "know thyself" as an urging to pay attention to who you are -- not as fixed in a particular role, but as constantly changing. Notice, for instance, the way your thoughts arise and pass away.

As we observe the thoughts that occur to us, we can ask, "is this a satisfying thought?" Perhaps the thought that happens to arise at a given time is one that you'd rather not be having. Perhaps you are able to recognize that the thought is your inner voice of greed, or of defensiveness, or of putting yourself down, or of being judgmental of others -- and you wish you weren't having that thought.

Vanessa Zuisei Goddard writes:

"Noticing an unwholesome thought rearing its head in our mind, we switch it with a wholesome one, just like a carpenter “might knock out, remove, and extract a coarse peg by means of a fine one,” the sutra says. When we think, 'I’m not good enough,' we counter it by saying to ourselves, 'I am enough,' or 'I’m perfect just as I am.' We don’t stop to wonder why we always think so negatively or try to identify the source of this thought. We simply replace it, like hitting a pool ball with another, sending it careening out of the way and into a pocket, where it’ll be out of sight."

Most thoughts simply arise without us ever deciding to think them. We can, though, if we pay attention to ourselves and notice the thoughts as they arise, intentionally decide whether to stay with that thought. If we recognize it as a thought that isn't good for us, we can decide to replace it.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Apr 30 service, "The Transformative Power of Unitarian Universalism":



The Apr 23 service, with guest speaker, Bruce Pollack-Johnson, "The 8th Principle: A Beacon Toward Beloved Community and Inclusion":



PRACTICE POINTER

From Rick Hanson’s Just One Thing: Befriend Your Body.

Your body IS you – but imagine for a moment that your body were a distinct thing. It has taken care of you through the years, kept you alive, taken you from place to place, given you pleasure. So, in return, how well do you take care of your body? Do you soothe, feed, exercise it and take it to the doctor? Or do you run it down, feed it junk food, or intoxicate it? It's common to push the body hard, ignore its needs until they get intense, and tune out from its signals. And then plop the body into bed at the end of another grinding day.

People can also get mad at the body -- like it's the body's fault if it weighs too much or is getting old. Back to reality, your body is NOT a distinct thing. It’s you. Its needs and pleasures and pains are your needs and pleasures and pains, and its fate is your fate.

So imagine a day treating your body like another good friend. Imagine loving this friend -- your body -- as you wake up and help it out of bed: being gentle with it, staying connected to it, not rushing about. Imagine cherishing your body as you move through the morning -- such as helping it kindly to some water, giving it a nice shower, and serving it healthy and delicious food. Imagine treating your body with love as you do other activities: driving, caring for children, exercising, working with others, doing dishes, brushing your teeth.

For the rest of the guidance on how to befriend your body, see: "Befriend Your Body."

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#157: Notions

Turkey first appeared in #38. Her previous relations with Grandma were related in #63, #65, #73, #80, and #95.

Practice and Dharma and Sangha are all about Buddha -- which is a notion (and subject to falling apart) and a pointer to something that is not a notion.

Case

Turkey spoke up one evening and said, "Listening to Grandma at Vinecot, I get the impression that all notions fall apart. What do you make of this?"
Raven said, "Nothing."
Turkey asked, "How about the Buddha?"
Raven said, "Bring her around."
Turkey asked, "Then what are we about?"
Raven glanced at Porcupine, and both exclaimed, "Buddha!"

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Minister's Post, Fri Apr 28

Dear Ones:

Slow down. That's really the best -- maybe even the only -- spiritual lesson to learn. Take things slow. Sure, smell some flowers -- after all, it's spring! Gaze at the eastern sky as it slowly lightens at sunrise -- and at the western sky as it slowly darkens at sunset. Notice the feel of your feet (shod or otherwise) as you walk.

Sometimes this might mean that you show up late for something. Is that so bad? Or it will mean that you plan better so you can arrive on time without having to rush. That's not so bad either.

Dean Sluyter writes: "The paradox of impatience is that, in trying to hurry toward enjoyment, we hurry past it."

Interestingly, Sluyter's article is titled: “Macbeth Flunks the Marshmallow Test.” Sluyter argues that, while the usual take on MacBeth is that he illustrates the flaw of ambition, his actual flaw is impatience. The play begins with the weird sisters pronouncing that MacBeth "shalt be king hereafter." The problem is that MacBeth then immediately starts thinking of who he needs to whack to become king. If the prophecy is to be believed, he doesn't have to make it come true right away. If he is to be king, there's no need to get himself to the throne ASAP. He can let the course of things unfold gradually. As we know, and MacBeth himself might have guessed, he would have lived longer that way. MacBeth's real tragic flaw is impatience.

So slow down. Wherever you may be destined to end up, there's no need to rush there.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Apr 23 service, with guest speaker, Bruce Pollack-Johnson, "The 8th Principle: A Beacon Toward Beloved Community and Inclusion":



The Apr 16 service, "What Evil Is":



PRACTICE POINTER

From Rick Hanson’s Just One Thing: Befriend Your Body.

Your body IS you – but imagine for a moment that your body were a distinct thing. It has taken care of you through the years, kept you alive, taken you from place to place, given you pleasure. So, in return, how well do you take care of your body? Do you soothe, feed, exercise it and take it to the doctor? Or do you run it down, feed it junk food, or intoxicate it? It's common to push the body hard, ignore its needs until they get intense, and tune out from its signals. And then plop the body into bed at the end of another grinding day.

People can also get mad at the body -- like it's the body's fault if it weighs too much or is getting old. Back to reality, your body is NOT a distinct thing. It’s you. Its needs and pleasures and pains are your needs and pleasures and pains, and its fate is your fate.

So imagine a day treating your body like another good friend. Imagine loving this friend -- your body -- as you wake up and help it out of bed: being gentle with it, staying connected to it, not rushing about. Imagine cherishing your body as you move through the morning -- such as helping it kindly to some water, giving it a nice shower, and serving it healthy and delicious food. Imagine treating your body with love as you do other activities: driving, caring for children, exercising, working with others, doing dishes, brushing your teeth.

For the rest of the guidance on how to befriend your body, see: "Befriend Your Body."

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#156: Mara

Thank you, Mara. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Case

After this exchange about compassion, Badger said, "Well, I got my comeuppance on that one. I have another question -- not really a question, more a confession. It's the one that's been on my mind for some time. I've sat with you all this time and not realized very much at all. I wake up in the night feeling guilty that I haven't made more of an effort. You devote yourself to us, and I feel that I've failed you."
Raven said, "Mara is prodding you."
Badger said, "It hurts."
Raven said, "It's the only way Mara knows."

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Minister's Post, Fri Apr 14

Dear Ones:

Laura Bridgman writes:

"When we’re trying to change ourselves or change the other, we’re essentially rejecting what is arising in the present moment. And if we reject it, we can’t really meet it. And if we can’t meet it, we can’t allow the space for understanding, how come this has arisen?

It's not that we don't change. We do, and so do our spouses, partners, children, and parents. It's just that trying to change ourselves, or trying to change someone else isn't the way to meet and understand ourselves or the other.

Change needs to unfold in its own way -- and it doesn't need to happen in accordance with the particular preferences we have at any given time. Let go of the desire to control the direction of change. Focus simply on meeting and understanding. Then you can trust that the change that happens will be OK.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Apr 9 service, "Easter and Passover":



The Mar 26 service, "The Importance of Vow":



PRACTICE POINTER

Forgive Yourself. When you mess up and cause harm to others, acknowledge and feel appropriate remorse for the mistake, and learn from it. Forgiving yourself – affirming that you’re deserving of your own forgiveness -- helps you make sure it doesn’t happen again. If the injured party was deeply hurt, a restorative process may be in order – but whether that happens or not, you’ll need the self-restoration of forgiving yourself.

Many of us have inner critics that keep beating us up way past the point of usefulness -- yammering away, magnifying small failings, and ignoring the larger context. So: Get in touch with the feeling of being cared about by someone you know or have known. Bring to mind some of your good qualities. Then face whatever needs forgiving.

If you yelled at a child, lied at work, partied too hard, let a friend down, cheated on a partner, or were secretly glad about someone's downfall — whatever it was — acknowledge the facts: what happened, what was in your mind at the time, the relevant context and history, and the results for yourself and others.

Sort what happened into three piles: moral fault (which warrants proportionate guilt and remorse), unskillfulness (which warrants only correction), and everything else.

Accept responsibility. Say or write down: "I am responsible for _____, _____, and _____." If there’s anything you can do to make things better, write that down too. Then add: "But I am NOT responsible for _____, _____, and _____."

Then actively forgive yourself. Say or write: "I forgive myself for _____, _____, and _____. I have taken responsibility and done, or will do, what I can to make things better." For the rest of the guidance on how to forgive yourself, see the post, Forgive Yourself.

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#154: Forgetting

Lungs know how to breathe; hearts know how to pump. No need to remember them. Forget, and they go on serving, serving the universe.

Case

Raccoon visited Raven from Cedarford once again, and Raven welcomed him, saying, "I'm sorry I don't have your kind of food to offer you."
Raccoon said, "No problem. I come for the Dharma anyway."
Raven said, "I don't have that, either."
Racoon said, "OK, OK. But maybe you can comment on something Moose Roshi is saying these days. 'Forget to the bottom, and the bottom will serve you.'"
"I see his point," said Raven.
"How would you say it, Roshi?"
"Forget to the robin, and the robin will serve you," said Raven.

Verse

"All things work together for good for those who love God" --Romans 8:28

Well. Paul. Dawn, and the day
Fills up with doing
Of tasks and farting around.
I don't know
what loving God is
Unless it is forgetting
that anything is distinct
From anything else.

Case adapted from Robert Aitken; introduction and verse by Meredith Garmon

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Minister's Post, Fri Apr 7

Dear Ones:

Things to know about Ramadan. Ramadan is the name for the ninth month in the Islamic lunar calendar -- and the whole month is a holy time. Because it's on a lunar calendar, it slowly moves through the year. This year it started in March. It starts 10-12 days earlier each year, so by 2026 it'll be starting in mid-February; in 2029 in mid-January; and so on through the year and back around to March again in 2055.

Ramadan is celebrated as the month Muhammad received from the initial revelations of what became the Quran.

All Muslims who have reached puberty and are in good health are required to fast during daylight. The sick and elderly, along with travelers, pregnant women and those who are nursing are exempt, although they are supposed to make up for the missed fast days sometime in the future or help feed the poor.

There's a pre-dawn meal, then the fast period begins at sunrise. Each day’s fast is broken with an after-sundown meal known as “iftar.” Iftars are often elaborate feasts celebrated with family and friends. The family and community bonding and merriment is as important a part of Ramadan as the fasting, prayer, and reflection.

Observing Ramadan is one of the "Five Pillars of Islam." The other four are:
- making a profession of faith
- prayer, five times a day, facing Mecca
- charitable donation
- a pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in one's life

As the saying goes: If you don't know, now you know!

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Mar 26 service, "The Importance of Vow":



PRACTICE POINTER

It’s time again for our Ecospiritual practice for this month – adapted from Rebecca James Hecking and brought to you by Community UU’s Environmental Practices Social Justice Team. Meeting the Soul’s Needs.

Sustaining the planet requires sustaining our spirits. Healthy living doesn’t come naturally for us, who were built to crave salt, sugar, and fat. We’re also built for spirituality – to connect to a larger meaning, to have genuine friendships and community, to be generous and of service. But just as we can get lured into unhealthy eating, we get lured into unhealthy, lonely TV watching and consumerism – the junk foods of the spirit.

The “Primal Matrix” we seek is “a healthy, wholly functioning psyche in full-bodied participation with a healthy, wholly functioning Earth." It’s the interconnected relationships with our inner selves, each other, and the ecology. For most of us, alas, rediscovering and reintegrating this Primal Matrix requires significant effort.

Looking deeply at your own life, and honestly considering your soul’s needs requires regular, ongoing introspection. Each day spend some being still and quiet, some time journaling, and some time with spiritual texts. Bonding with the ecology around us heals and transforms us and the Earth. The work of sustaining our souls and the work of sustaining our planet each is necessary for the other.

Ecospiritual practices for this month include: Cloud Watching – spend a half hour just gazing at clouds. Small change --adopt one new simple Earth-friendly habit. And Touchstone Connection. For details on these, as well as group activities for your Ecospiritual group, see the post: Meeting the Soul's Needs

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#153: The Word

Sometimes you need to stare at the finger for a while before your eye turns to where the finger is pointing.

Case

Stag Sensei invited Raven to speak to his students, and Porcupine went along as her attendant.
In their absence, Owl led the discussion but said very little.
Wolverine asked, "If truth is essentially wordless, why do we usually talk so much at these meetings?"
Woodpecker said, "Maybe we should listen to the silence between the words."
Hearing of this later, Porcupine said, "The word! The word!"

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Minister's Post, Fri Mar 31

Dear Ones:

The world has certainly changed in the last 10 years.

A former president has been indicted. That happened this week. The thing is: we've been anticipating an indictment for some time now. That's the world we now live in.

We now have machines -- AI -- that can converse with us so naturally they feel like a person. And they know everything that the internet knows (which is just about the sum total of human knowledge, plus a fair degree of human ignorance thrown in for good measure), so they make for a pretty handy conversation partner. They are, in effect, "counterfeit people" -- and maybe they pose a threat to human society just as counterfeit money does. That's what some folks argue. They might be right. What a world!

I read today that scientists have created a woolly mammoth meatball. Yep. They can grow meat cells in the lab, without having to grow them inside the body of a living animal. So they took some muscle cells of sheep and mixed in DNA from a woolly mammoth. How did it taste? No one was allowed to sample it because, being woolly mammoth, it contained proteins that haven’t been eaten in thousands of years -- so the scientists weren't sure it would be safe. What a world!

Still and all: the best that life has to offer is community and friendship. Each other. And so we gather, as people have for as long as there have been people (about 200,000 to 300,000 years, I'm told), to afford to each other this greatest of gifts.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Mar 26 service, "The Importance of Vow":



The Mar 19 service, "Musical Awe":



PRACTICE POINTER

It’s time again for our Ecospiritual practice for this month – adapted from Rebecca James Hecking and brought to you by Community UU’s Environmental Practices Social Justice Team. Meeting the Soul’s Needs.

Sustaining the planet requires sustaining our spirits. Healthy living doesn’t come naturally for us, who were built to crave salt, sugar, and fat. We’re also built for spirituality – to connect to a larger meaning, to have genuine friendships and community, to be generous and of service. But just as we can get lured into unhealthy eating, we get lured into unhealthy, lonely TV watching and consumerism – the junk foods of the spirit.

The “Primal Matrix” we seek is “a healthy, wholly functioning psyche in full-bodied participation with a healthy, wholly functioning Earth." It’s the interconnected relationships with our inner selves, each other, and the ecology. For most of us, alas, rediscovering and reintegrating this Primal Matrix requires significant effort.

Looking deeply at your own life, and honestly considering your soul’s needs requires regular, ongoing introspection. Each day spend some being still and quiet, some time journaling, and some time with spiritual texts. Bonding with the ecology around us heals and transforms us and the Earth. The work of sustaining our souls and the work of sustaining our planet each is necessary for the other.

Ecospiritual practices for this month include: Cloud Watching – spend a half hour just gazing at clouds. Small change --adopt one new simple Earth-friendly habit. And Touchstone Connection. For details on these, as well as group activities for your Ecospiritual group, see the post: Meeting the Soul's Needs

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#152: Power

Circulating the power (of, say, being discussion leader) is the Way.

Dao De Ka-Ching!

Case

Owl asked, "Does the Way have its own power?"
Raven said, "It circulates."
Owl asked, "What is its path of circulation?"
Raven said, "Why don't you lead the discussion tomorrow night?"

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Minister's Post, Fri Mar 24

Dear Ones:

Mary Oliver's oft-quoted words remind us:

"To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go."

If we combine the first two into one -- loving what is mortal and holding it tight -- then we have two things: loving and letting go. These are the twin poles of care, on the one hand, and nonattachment, on the other.

Anne Cushman evokes these twin poles when she writes about reducing clutter:

"Bringing order to clutter, I begin to see, is not just about putting my spices in alphabetical order. It’s about balancing the twin poles of spiritual life: cherishing life and holding it sacred, while knowing that it will pass away. It’s about learning to care for the things and people that are precious to me -- and, when it’s time, freely letting them go."

Nonattachment doesn't mean not caring about things or not loving people. It means that, as we care and love, we also hold in mind the transcience of all things, including the very things and people we love.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Mar 19 service, "Musical Awe":



The Mar 12 service, "Transformative Awe":



PRACTICE POINTER

From the Tibetan teachings called “Lojong,” our 29th training in compassion is: Don’t figure others out. Just: don’t. Think of all the time you spend analyzing and discussing acquaintances, as if you could know what was going on with them, as if you had a real line on them and their problems. We don’t understand ourselves – we’re so full of contradictory and underappreciated impulses – how could we possibly fathom what makes another person tick?

We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions. We tend to judge others by the effects of their action on us. This is one reason we so often come out feeling righteous: we think we know our own inmost intentions (and we are often wrong); and we assume the intentions of others based on our interpretation of their outward acts (and we are usually wrong). Instead, when you find yourself thinking about someone else's motives, needs, or feelings, catch yourself and remember that you don't really know what someone else is thinking or feeling, so you are better off assuming ze is doing zir best and that everyone is on the same human journey you are on. Maybe at the moment zir journey is leading zir down some nasty dark alley ways.

Practicing this slogan, repeating it to ourselves frequently, even in the midst of controversy with others, trains the mind to recall that we know little of what is in our own heart, let alone someone else’s. Yes, there are times when it may be a good idea to try to imagine what someone else is feeling, thinking, needing, or wanting. Doing that in the light of this slogan means doing it with humility, knowing that we may be mistaken.

See the full post: Don't Judge.

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#151: The Sabbath

The Indian Poet Kabir (1440-1518), writes:

Do you believe there is some place that will make the soul less thirsty?
In that great absence you will find nothing.

Be strong then, and enter into your own body;
there you have a solid place for your feet.
Think about it carefully!
Don't go off somewhere else!

Kabir says this: just throw away all thoughts of imaginary things,
and stand firm in that which you are.

We come to Zen practice hoping it will show us a "place that will make the soul less thirsty." We can't help it. We must start somewhere, if we are the sort inclined to start, and this is where we start. Gradually, slowly, with many regressions and returns, the feeling may grow in us that there is no place that will make the soul less thristy. It is the nature of souls to thirst. Gradually, slowly, with many regressions and returns, we may throw away more of our thoughts of imaginary things, and more often stand firm in that which we are.

But if we are thinking that we are headed some place that will make the soul less thirsty, then naturally we would like others to also have the the satisfaction of such a place -- particularly our loved ones. So the question comes up: how can I encourage my partner to take up this practice? This is a thought of an imaginary thing.

Walk your path. Trust that others, including the most intimate others, are walking theirs. You might incorporate bits of their path, for the sake of walking together or because it feels right to you -- just don't think about how to get them to walk yours.

Case

After Porcupine's final response to Wolverine, Mole spoke up.
He said, "I have something quite different to ask about. My spouse is not the least bit interested in our practice. Is there something I can do to encourage her?"
Raven asked, "What does interest her?"
Mole said, "She likes to go over to the Little Church in the Grotto and listen to the sermons."
Raven said, "Keep the Sabbath."

Verse

"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work." (Ex 20:8-10)

Remember, and keep holy, it says.
On this day, no work.
Questions about that.
Are resting and working mutually exclusive?
Assuming they are:
Does working preclude holiness?
Does rest confer or constittute holiness?
Or are rest and keep holy two separate assignments?
Would work and keep holy be the two assignments for the rest of the week?
Or is rest, while not conferring holiness, a prerequisite for it?
Is keeping holy then something we do that is neither rest nor work?
What else might be neither?
Is play a form of rest?
Unless the game is our work?
Are writing poems, painting watercolors, playing music forms of rest?
Unless these arts are our work?
Or (if rest and keep holy are separate) is play a form of keeping holy?
And thus not a form of rest?

Remember, and keep holy, it says.
On this day, no work.

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Minister's Post, Fri Mar 17

Dear Ones:

Last week, I wrote about dropping the distinction between "need" and "want" -- and replacing that distinction with one between need (or want) and strategy.

Today, I want to look at another distinction: between a request and a demand. Katy Butler put it like this:

"The difference between a request and a demand lies not in the sweetness of your speech but in whether or not you subtly punish anyone who says no."

There's no way to tell from how it is expressed whether a person is making a request or a demand. The difference appears only if the request or demand is denied. If the answer is "no," are you upset? Does it bother you? If so, then there was demand energy in what you were asking for.

This is the essence of the virtue of nonattachment. It doesn't mean being detached, and it doesn't mean you don't have preferences. It just means you can be OK when those preferences aren't satisfied. You can work hard to attain your preferences -- yet still have serene equinimity if they aren't. "Attachment" is simply a name for that part of you that gets upset when you don't get your way.

At some level, we will always have attachments. But we can train ourselves to hold them more lightly.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Mar 5 service, "Transformative Awe":



The Mar 5 service, "Spirituality of Change" (sermon by Rev. Evin Carvill Ziemer):



PRACTICE POINTER

This week we slow down to spend some more time on the value of slowing down. We get caught up in e-mails, phone calls, long hours working, schlepping kids, and trying to match velocities with everyone else who has speeded up. It's easy to feel like a short-order cook at the lunch rush. There's a place for revving up occasionally -- but chronic speediness:
- releases adrenaline and cortisol that weaken your immune system;
- wears down your mood;
- puts the alarm system of the brain on red alert;
- Makes you quicker to find things to worry or get irritated about
- gives you less time to think clearly and make good decisions.

Start with a few little things. Lift the cup to your lips slower. Slow down meal time. Let others finish talking before jumping in. Stroll to a meeting instead of racing. Finish one task before moving on to another. A few times a day, take a long, slow breath. Back off the gas pedal. (You’ll arrive a few minutes later, but with lots more ease along the way.) When the phone rings, imagine that it is a temple bell reminding you to breathe and slow down. Resist the pressure of others to get things done sooner than you really need to. Find what's good about this moment as it is, so you'll have less need to zip along to the next thing.

Try just a few of these suggestions: no need to rush to slow down! Then soak in the ease and well-being that come from slowing down. People may say you look more confident, rested, dignified, and happy. Honestly, slowing down is one of those seemingly small actions that could really change your life. See the full post: Slow Down.

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#150: Sameness

Same yet different. Different yet same. Like the seasons. Like sleeping and waking. Like joining the circle or holding oneself outside.

Case

Wolverine began attending meetings on a fairly regular basis, joining the circle instead of holding herself outside.
One evening she asked, "If everything is essentially the same, how is it that winter follows fall, and spring follows winter?"
Raven said, "I defer to Porcupine."
Porcupine said, "I defer to Black Bear."
Wolverine said, "Black Bear? He's off snoozing until spring."
Porcupine said, "Well?"
Wolverine said nothing.

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Minister's Post, Fri Mar 10

Dear Ones:

NEED or WANT? How do you distinguish between "need" and "want"?

I say: don't.

I know it's tempting to draw this distinction. Your child whines to you that they NEED the latest thingamajig, and you find yourself saying, "No, you don't NEED it, you only WANT it." Or maybe you find yourself employing a need/want distinction when deliberating with yourself: you ask yourself, "Do I really need this, or only want it?"

But let's do away with the need/want distinction. The fact is, we don't know where to usefully draw a line between "need" and "want." Even something as basic as food turns out to be dispensable for those so committed to a cause that they go on a hunger strike -- even unto death, should it come to that.

There's a somewhat different distinction that will serve us much better: the difference between a need and a strategy. Here we understand "need" as something universal -- or nearly so. X qualifies as a "need" if X is something that pretty much everybody is attracted toward having if they haven't gotten it in a while. With oxygen, "a while" is less than a minute. With food, sleep, and exercise, "a while" may be several hours to a day.

According the Center for Nonviolent Communication, people have needs for connection (acceptance, affection, appreciation, belonging, cooperation, communication, closeness, community, companionship, compassion, consideration, consistency, empathy, inclusion, intimacy, love, mutuality, nurturing, respect/self-respect, security, stability, support, to know and be known, to see and be seen, to understand and be understood, trust, warmth); for physical wellbeing (air, food, movement/exercise, rest/sleep, sexual expression, safety, shelter, touch, water); for honesty (authenticity, integrity, presence); for play (joy, humor); for peace (beauty, communion, ease, equality, harmony, inspiration, order); for autonomy (choice, freedom, independence, space, spontaneity); and for meaning (awareness, celebration of life, challenge, clarity, competence, consciousness, contribution, creativity, discovery, efficacy, effectiveness, growth, hope, learning, mourning, participation, purpose, self-expression, stimulation, to matter, understanding).

Whether we call these "needs" or "wants," they are universal. Everybody wants these things. We're all attracted toward getting each of these -- particularly if we haven't had it for a while. We might, by force of will, deny ourselves some need for the sake of something even more important to us -- as a person on a hunger strike does -- but there's no denying that we do feel the attraction. The universality of that attraction is what qualifies it as a "need."

A "strategy" on the other hand is particular -- not universal. A strategy is an approach, method,or device deployed for the purpose of satisfying a need. That thingamajig your child is pleading for is probably a strategy. So when you find yourself about to say:

"It's not a need, it's only a want"

try saying instead:

"That sounds like a strategy for meeting a need. Can you tell me what need the thingamajig would be a strategy for meeting? And can we think together about whether there might be alternative ways to meet that need?"

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Mar 5 service, "Spirituality of Change" (sermon by Rev. Evin Carvill Ziemer):



The Feb 26 service, "The Ecological Thought"



PRACTICE POINTER

It’s time again for our Ecospiritual practice for this month – brought to you by Community UU’s Environmental Practices Social Justice Team: Slow Life.

Imagine a sustainable culture, a restored Earth, where humans serve and support the greater whole of the biosphere that sustains us all. Wouldn’t the people be living at a healthier, calmer pace – not perpetually exhausted, stressed, subsisting on fast food, without time to relax and savor the pleasures of life? Our bodies and psyches are ill equipped to handle the myriad incessant demands and pressures that raise our blood pressure and give us indigestion.

Since a slower pace also tends to be environmentally friendly, slow-life choices move the world toward sustainability.

We can say no to additional obligations, tend to personal boundaries; stay home and hang out with our families, eat real food, maybe turn hanging the laundry outdoors into a meditation. These are soul-healing and Earth-healing choices.

Ecospiritual practices for this month include:
“breathing the hours:” several times a day step away from the flow of ordinary life and create a brief liminal space amid daily tasks.
Second, “Slow Down Dinner”: Once a week – or once a month -- together with friends or family, communally plan and cook a meal entirely from scratch.
Third, “Conveniences that Maybe Aren’t.” Make a list of every technology in your home that didn’t exist 100 years ago. Then go over your list and evaluate how each item really affects the overall quality of your life. Then act accordingly.

For details on these, as well as group activities for your Ecospiritual group, see the full post: Slow Life.

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#149: Non Sequitur

The opposite of truth is also true. Without Buddha there would be no dew. These are conceptual abstractions -- intellectual baubles. They can be fun to play with, but aren't going to help you. Raven cuts to the concrete: Snacks! No snacks!

The issue before us -- as, in Zen, it always is -- is the concrete fact. Woodpecker's excursion into abstraction is the non sequitur.

It's rather a striking turn of phrase, though. Without Buddha, no dew.

Kind of a tasty snack at that.

Case

That evening Woodpecker asked, "I've heard that without Buddha there would be no dew on the grass. What do you think?
Raven said, "Tonight we're all out of snacks."
Woodpecker said, "You're full of non sequiturs these days."
Raven said, "Ah, Woodpecker, you should talk."

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Minister's Post, Fri Mar 3

Dear Ones:

In the end, everything is everything else. Filip Holm explained it this way:

"Try to think of that flower without the soil from which it grows, without the sunlight that helps it grow and illuminates it, without the very space in which it stands, or without the particular time in which it is there. Suddenly you no longer have a flower at all."

This is just a fact of our physical world: everything influences everything else, and so what anything is depends on what everything else is.

This fact about our physical world is important to remember for our spiritual growth. It's easy to fall into the delusion of separation. Remembering the reality that nothing is separate -- and because everything is connected to everything else, it is constantly changing as those influences fluctuation -- so nothing is permanent and unchanging, including ourselves. Somehow, there's a profound spiritual liberation that comes to us from remembering this about ourselves, each other, and our world.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Feb 26 service, "The Ecological Thought"



The Feb 19 service, "Free to Be You and Me"



PRACTICE POINTER

Life means ongong change. And Change includes also some loss. We feel grief, and we need to grieve.

Grieving is a form of learning. It’s the process of learning how to be in the world without whatever-it-is that is no longer there: a spouse, friend, parent or child – or a job, a marriage, or an ability – a home or a familiar place. New habits and routines, new patterns have to form. We have to work out who we are in this new world that is bereft of some one or something that had once been a part of ourselves. People will say, “I feel like I’ve lost part of myself” – because they have. Adapting takes time and involves changes in the brain – as learning does.

To distinguish grief from grieving: Grief is a feeling. Grieving is an action in response to the felt loss.

“Grief is that emotional state that just knocks you off your feet and comes over you like a wave. Grieving necessarily has a time component to it. Grieving is what happens as we adapt to the fact that our loved one is gone, that we're carrying the absence of them with us.” (Mary-Frances O’Connor, Clinical Psychologist)

We’ll feel the grief forever – it’s the remembrance of a thing past. But the act of "grieving," will, over time, change our relationship to that grief. To facilitate the learning that is grieving, it helps to: - choose good company – friends who won’t try to fix you, or place expectations on you;
- be gentle with yourself. Try not to judge yourself for not “doing better”;
- be intentional about getting rest, exercise, and eating; and - have a spiritual practice or a creative outlet.

For more detail, see the full post: "Grieve Your Losses"

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#147: All Truths

If the snacks are good, what better response could there be to any idea than to have a snack?

Case

Owl dropped by one afternoon and asked Raven, "I've heard that the opposite of truth is also true. What do you think of this idea?"
Raven said, "Let's have a snack."
Owl said, "Aren't you devaluing my question?"
Raven said, "Not at all. We have fresh grubs today."

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Minister's Post, Fri Feb 24

Dear Ones:

Our "Science and Spirituality" group read Ed Yong's book, I Contain Multitudes last fall. Some amazing things we learned, as Yong reported:

“Speaking of palms, your right hand shares just a sixth of its microbial species with your left hand.”

And:

“The brain parasite Toxoplasma gondii is another puppetmaster. It can only sexually reproduce in a cat; if it gets into a rat, it suppresses the rodent’s natural fear of cat odours and replaces it with something more like sexual attraction. The rodent scurries towards nearby cats, with fatal results, and T. gondii gets to complete its life cycle."

We may not be as blatantly controlled as T. gondii controls rats, but a huge part of what we I am here to do -- as the biological organism that I am -- is serve the microbes that I carry around. Fortunately, many of them also serve me. Or, perhaps we should say they serve the other microbes by helping sustain the ecosystem (me) that supports all the microbes.

No wonder that Timothy Morton wonders: "Am I simply a vehicle for numerous bacteria that inhabit my microbiome? Or are they hosting me?"

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Feb 19 service, "Free to Be You and Me"



The Feb 12 service, "Know Thyself"



"Know Thyself" sermon text at The Liberal Pulpit.

PRACTICE POINTER

See the good in yourself. That’s this week’s practice pointer adapted from “Just One Thing,” by clinical psychologist Rick Hanson.

There is good in every person — but it can be easier to see in others than in yourself. Because of the brain’s negativity bias, we tend to fixate on what's wrong with ourselves instead of what's right. If you do twenty things in a day and nineteen go fine, what's the one you think about? Probably the one that didn't go so well.

Your brain builds new structures primarily based on what you pay attention to; neurons that fire together, wire together. Focusing on what doesn’t go so well blocks the development of confidence and self-worth. Knowing your own strengths and virtues, is just a matter of seeing yourself accurately. Then, recognizing the good in yourself, you'll feel better inside, reach out to others with less fear.

So: Pick one simple good thing about yourself. Maybe you are friendly, open, conscientious, imaginative, warm, perceptive, or steadfast. Be aware of the experience of that positive characteristic. Explore its body sensations, emotional tones, and any attitudes or viewpoints that go with it. Take a little time to register that you do indeed have this good quality. Let yourself become convinced of it. Look for signs of it for a day or a week -- and feel it when you find it.

Then repeat this process for other good qualities you have.

As you review your qualities, open to feeling good about yourself. Let these times of feeling good about yourself gradually fill your heart and your days.

For more explanation about how to see the good in yourself, see the full post: "See the Good in Yourself."

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#147: The Acorn

How could you say there was anything that couldn't be expressed in words? As soon of you'd said what it was, you've expressed it. Even to say, "It's ineffable" is to eff it.

You might say, "But some things are not completely expressed." True enough, but adding "completely" reverses the situation. Changing the question from "Is there anything that can't be expressed in words?" to "Is there anything that can't be completely expressed in words?" changes the answer from "nothing" to "everything." Everything can be expressed, and nothing can be completely expressed.

So the living question for us is: given the infinite expressibility of every object, phenomena, or experience, when do we say, "that's enough" -- and when do we heap our plates with detailed expression?

John Keats spoke of "negative capability" -- which he said meant being "capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason." Or, we might say: "content with a vague, imprecise allusion without any irritable reaching after more concrete or detailed expression."

To go further, let us recognize that it's misleading to say that every expression is incomplete, which suggests that expressions are partial -- as if, by accumulating more and more expression, one could asymptotically approach completeness. It's not that expressions inherently reveal only a part of the reality. It's that expressions always and inherently hide as much as they reveal. Indeed, they conceal exactly as much as they reveal. Necessarily. Such recognition strengthens our negative capability.

Case

Woodpecker asked, "Is there anything that can't be expressed in words?"
Raven said, "Nothing."
Woodpecker asked, "Even the ineffable experience of the Buddha under the Bodhi tree?"
Raven said, "The morning star."
Porcupine said, "There's a kernel in that acorn."
Woodpecker asked, "How can I get at it?"
Porcupine said, "Come on, Woodpecker! What's that chisel beak for?"

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Minister's Post, Fri Feb 17

Dear Ones:

This Sunday we're celebrating the 50th anniversary of the album Free to Be...You and Me by Marlo Thomas and Friends. I was nearly 14 when the album first came out and it didn’t come into our house. But when my own children were born -- in 1980 and 1982, I did buy the album. And played it over and over.

In 1972, it was groundbreaking. Whether you remember that time, or have just heard about it, think of where our culture was with our gender messaging. It’s different now.

Title IX of the Education Act was also passed in that same year that “Free to Be You and Me” came out – which lead to a huge boom in girls and young women participating in athletics. Think of the legions of female athletes now. If you asked a typical American 50 years ago to name a female athlete, they might have named figure skater Dorothy Hamil, perhaps gymnast Olga Korbut – and maybe tennis player Billie Jean King. And that was very often the most they could name. No one at all from a team sport.

Married women couldn't get their own credit cards. Prior to the 1970s, sexual assault of a spouse was legal in all 50 states – today it is illegal in all 50 states.

Criticism of the way children were socialized into sex-roles was a major project of second wave feminism. And the “Free to Be...You and Me” album was a big part of the push to think differently about what we taught our children about how to be, and what they could expect.

Football star Rosey Grier, with his deep voice and defensive lineman bulk (which could be seen in the TV special based on the album) told kids that it was all right to cry. The album also told kids that: parents are just people; boys and girls can be friends and can play together; girls and boys alike can pursue any career that calls to them. Who knew? Everybody, right? Not 50 years ago. And if most folks today do know, that’s got a lot to do with this album.

Patriarchy and misogyny are not eradicated. The “Free to be you and me” vision is not yet fully realized. We celebrate the progress this album helped make – and joyfully take up the continuation of its cause.

It's true that some of the album is dated. That’s how progress works: as we get closer to a goal, we understand it better, and the goal itself evolves from the original vision. We know a little more about what liberation will need to look like now than we did 50 years ago. The album assumed heterosexual normativity. Boys could learn that it was all right to cry, or to want a doll, but it would take a while longer before anything in popular culture told them it was OK to date another boy. Back then pretty much everybody, including Marlo Thomas and friends, assumed gender was binary. The vision of equality now must include the trans folk and various nonbinary folk. People 50 years ago were doing the work that was possible for them – so that we can do the work that is possible for us.

Yours in the faith we share,
Meredith

Join a Journey Group: http://cucwp.org/journey-groups

I.C.Y.M.I. (In Case You Missed It)

The Feb 12 service, "Know Thyself"



"Know Thyself" sermon text at The Liberal Pulpit.

The Feb 5 service, "Cultivating Ourselves"



"Cultivating Ourselves" sermon text at The Liberal Pulpit.

PRACTICE POINTER

Today’s Practice Pointer is in the “Occasional” category: exercises that probably aren’t for every day for the rest of your life, but can be really helpful in particular situations – or every once in a while. This week: Confront Your Negative Inner Voice -- from Jonathan Robinson’s Find Happiness Now.

There may be a voice in your head that isn’t nice. First, clearly identify the harmful voices in your head. While we all have critical thoughts from time to time, most people have one or two recurring thoughts that are particularly destructive. What are yours?

“I can't do anything right.”
“I better not say anything because I'll just look foolish.”
“I'm so ugly (or fat).”
“They are going to pay for what they did to me.”
“I just need a stiff drink (or smoke, etc.) and everything will be OK.”

Once you recognize a specific destructive recurring thought from your own life, it's helpful to give it a name. A named voice won’t seem so ominous. It’s not you saying those harsh words, it’s just silly old Bertha – or whoever.

Next, practice ways of distancing yourself from the negative voice. There are two ways to do this:

You could have a dialog with the negative inner voice. You could say: “I hear what you're saying, and you always say the same old stuff. I'm not buying it. I know you think you're trying to protect me, but you're not needed now."

Or: try changing the sound of the inner voice. Try repeating the words in Daffy Duck voice – or some other cartoon character voice. It's hard to take it seriously if it’s a silly voice.

For a more full explanation of how to confront your inner negative thoughts, see the post: "Confront Your Negative Inner Voice."

Here it is, your...
MOMENT OF ZEN
#146: Intelligence

How do you depend on it? Intelligence, humor, health and physical fitness, your eyesight, hearing, legs, arms. Any of these: how do you depend on it?

Case

During a question period, Mole asked, "How important is intelligence to the practice?"
Raven asked, "How do you use it?"
Mole said, "As best I can with what it is."
Raven asked, "How do you depend on it?"
"You know," said Mole, "I really don't depend on it very much at all."
Raven bobbed her head silently.

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